Subway Fresh Artists Featured Filmmakers Returns!

You know when you have an emotion so powerful inside you that the only way to express it is to break out in song?  I do that a lot, and you know what?  Nobody around me is happy.  I sing about as well as I dance.  And this dog dances better than I do.

Lucky for you, my voice had absolutely nothing to do with “Frat House: The Musical,” an awesome new web series that just happens to be one of the winners of this year’s “Subway Fresh Artists™ Featured Filmmakers” competition!

 

Filmmaking students at USC and NYU—two of the top film schools in America—submitted short films for consideration.  Two teams from each school won the top prizes, which means their series are getting the star treatment!

 

First up is “Frat House The Musical,” the story of a plucky college freshman with pipes of gold and abs of steel. 

 

He wants nothing more than to join his father’s fraternity.  Sadly, the Sigma frat doesn’t want him… until they realize they need him to survive.  Drama!  Dancing!  Singing!  Subway!  What more could you ask for?

For you to watch it.

 

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Do or Donut, there is no try...

Never let it be said that the Night Feed doesn't contain multitudes.  Sure, yesterday we told you about Mark Malkoff's quest to turn his doughy flagon of untoned flab into a rockin' six pack, but today we're taking a sharp left turn away from the world of health and fitness to indulge in another one of our not-so-secret passions: donuts! 

Chocolate, sprinkles, glazed, old-fashioned... we're not picky; we like them ALL.  And today is National Donut Day -- an actual holiday created by the Salvation Army to honor the battlefield nurses of World War I who coaxed injured soldiers back to health via the medium fried dough food (thanks, Wikipedia!).

And you don't need to be a mustachioed beat cop or having a support group meeting in a church basement to eat donuts anymore.  Everyone's doing it, including minor local television celebrities like Colin Tickler (David Hunt), son of legendary B-movie actress Evelyn Anders (Patricia Heaton).  Here's Colin extracting some donut innards from Episode 3 of the new My Damn Channel series Versailles...

Sexy, right?!  We bet introverted "You're In Sports" intern Sara Wolper (Martha MacIsaac) would agree.  So throw away your fertility talismans and Axe Body Spray.  Show some holiday spirit by rubbing a glazed donut across your bare chest and smearing your face with custard.  The Salvation Army demands it.
 

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The Abdominal Snowman

Do you dream of the perfect body?  Do you lay in bed surrounded by the detritus of your junk food addiction, fantasizing about peeling off your too-tight, slightly wet T-shirt to reveal a glistening, tanned torso sculpted to Wahlbergian perfection?  Do you pine for abs so flawless that the Situation himself would throw himself under the nearest party bus at the mere sight of them?  The answer, of course, is yes.  We all do.  And we all want it to happen RIGHT NOW.

But is it really possible to go from abpocalypse to abparadise in a mere thirty days?  Well, My Damn Channel's resident sociologist/trickster god Mark Malkoff has done EXACTLY THAT, going from flab to fab in record time in this two-part video experiment.

The secret to his success?  Diet, excercise, and enough hard boiled eggs to shame even Cool Hand Luke.  So let Mark school you in the art of getting stupid cut and watch.  Nutritionists say that clicking "play" just once can burn up to 1,200 calories.*

*(estimated)

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"Touch My Junk" for Kids

In case you haven't heard, the TSA is now giving pat-downs to six-year-olds.  And while we admire the TSA's consistency, we can't help but wonder if this is one of those times when common sense could have prevailed and an exception perhaps been made.  I'm guessing the biggest threat poised by the girl in the video is the possibility of getting roped into a hyperactive, one-sided conversation about Justin Beiber.  God, kids will not SHUT UP about that guy.

Nevertheless, maybe instead of wasting their time with Journey, the kids of PS22 should brace themselves for the realities of modern air travel and instead do a cover of Harry Shearer's "Touch My Junk."  In fact, I can't think of one single reason why this might be a bad idea.  Oh wait, I just thought of about five-hundred.  Never mind.

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Bob Dylan Signs Six Book Deal?!

It's no secret that we love Bob Dylan at My Damn Channel, so we were extremely excited to read on IFC.com that it's rumored Bob Dylan has signed a six book deal, and will continue his enlightening, though typically enigmatic, memoir series "Chronicles".  The first volume was released in 2004, so it's been a while since we've had the privilege to enter the mind of Mr. Dylan. 

And even though it's just a rumor, we're confident that it's gonna happen.  Why?  Well, we first heard the news via IFC, who just so happen to have content from their new series "Portlandia" on My Damn Channel. 

Coincidence?  I think not!

So while we're waiting for "Portlandia" to premiere tomorrow at 10:30pm on IFC, and for the next Dylan volume to come out in who knows how long, enjoy this performance from Sweet Pea Atkinson, a soul singing legend who has recorded with Bob Dylan. 

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MacGruber Is Our Homeboy

Ugh.  So much happened this week and we are exhausted.   We launched Celebrity Autobiography with Will Forte, Kristen Wiig and Eugene Pack.  Then, you know how when you're thinking about something you suddenly see it everywhere?  Well, we saw Will Forte on tv, like, a million times this week and he has seeped into our subconsciousness. We think he might actually be our new best friend.  It's bad.  Message to movie marketers: you win.  It worked.  All we can think about is going to see MacGruber this weekend.

Justin and Alden interviewed all those people and that made us tired.  Grace went to that H&M thing and she was tired. Our office is moving, and everyone knows moving sucks, so everyone in the office is tired.   We're Twittering and Tumblring and Tired.  Are you there, god?  It's me, My Damn Channel.  We need a weekend, bad.

(photo above of Andy Samberg and Will Forte at the Pearl Jam concert at MSG via Village Voice Sounds of the City blog)

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Name-Dropping Like It's Hot

At My Damn Channel, we like celebrities and we like hilarious things.  

And then we realized... there are CELEBRITIES who like celebrities and hilarious things.  If we could get celebrities like MacGruber and SNL stars Will Forte and Kristen Wiig to read, say, the ridiculous AUTOBIOGRAPHIES of celebrities like Tommy Lee and Tiger Woods, it would probably be AWESOME. 

Then we met a man named Eugene Pack and he made all of our celebrity dreams come true.

Witness the celebrity trailer now.

And we were right.  It is celebrity awesome and celebrity hilarious.  New celebrity episodes will be on My Damn Channel every Wednesday beginning May 19th. 

Thank you.  You're welcome.  Celebrity. 

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FACETIME

FACETIME presented by Puma.

The pilot episode for our newest series premieres today.

Puma asked My Damn Channel to step up and play.

We pitched a simple idea:

Athletes and Musicians talking shop.

Thanks to Warren Chao, Joe Carlone, Jon Lawrence, and Paul Gallagher for moving faster than cliches to shoot this last week at Dallas Cowboys training camp.

Here are: TERRELL OWENS & JUICY J and DJ PAUL from THREE SIX MAFIA.

If you like it & Puma likes it - you'll get more FACETIME.

Let us know which athletes & musicians you want put together.

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GO GONZO

If you experience a lack of inspiration, writer's block, anxiety about the boss, wars, lies, lost freedom, corruption, rejection, repression, fear and loathing...then write yourself a prescription and take it to the closest movie theatre showing "Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson," the new film directed by Oscar winner Alex Gibney. Here's the trailer.



Gibney puts accuracy above glory in his retelling of the life of the man once able to conjure up enough powerful wordplay to push millions to reconsider a sense of ourselves, our government, and our freedom. 



Here's Thompson documenting the last great wave of freedom - from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream:

"Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Five years later? Six? It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era — the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run . . . but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant. . . .

History is hard to know, because of all the hired bullshit, but even without being sure of “history” it seems entirely reasonable to think that every now and then the energy of a whole generation comes to a head in a long fine flash, for reasons that nobody really understands at the time — and which never explain, in retrospect, what actually happened.

My central memory of that time seems to hang on one or five or maybe forty nights — or very early mornings — when I left the Fillmore half-crazy and, instead of going home, aimed the big 650 Lightning across the Bay Bridge at a hundred miles an hour wearing L. L. Bean shorts and a Butte sheepherder's jacket . . . booming through the Treasure Island tunnel at the lights of Oakland and Berkeley and Richmond, not quite sure which turn-off to take when I got to the other end (always stalling at the toll-gate, too twisted to find neutral while I fumbled for change) . . . but being absolutely certain that no matter which way I went I would come to a place where people were just as high and wild as I was: No doubt at all about that. . . .

There was madness in any direction, at any hour. If not across the Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda. . . . You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning. . . .

And that, I think, was the handle—that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting — on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. . . .

So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark — that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back."

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DONNIE, DAVID & THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN

In our never-ending quest to not suck....we're about to unleash the return of DONNIE HOYLE and YOU SUCK AT PHOTOSHOP.

Unless there's a breakin, a leak, and sabotage,
set your timepiece for early FRIDAY morning,
the 27th of June, the year of our lord 2008.



Monday, 6/30 is the premiere of the second all-new WAINY DAYS.
Starring......uh.....David Wain....and LEE MAJORS (The Six Million Dollar Man) ! !

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