Everyone's so uptight about what they can put on the Internet. It's like, "Come ON, everybody!"
Meet
Dicki.
She's 40. She lives with her parents. In the middle of nowhere. She makes a living doing...uh... something... we think. And in
Episode One she's trying to get her Facebook profile picture juuuuuuuust right, which we totally understand since we've all held the camera at arm's length in a weirdly lit hallway, trying to make it look like it's a candid shot of us out at some ridiculous party having extraordinary fun, instead of just standing in our parents' hallway hoping they don't ask us what we're doing.
If
we were
Dicki, we'd probably just take a photo that made us look as much like
Mary Lynn Rajskub as possible, since most people who know her work as "Chloe O'Brian" or "Gail the Snail" are pretty enamored of her.
Oh, well, to each their own, we guess. And in Dicki's case, we don't think that will be a problem.
Pretty girls are everywhere around here!
We already know you're in love with
Daily Grace. We've heard you obsess about
Elizabeth Banks and
Rashida Jones. But we want you to know two more: Riki Lindhome and Kate Micucci, known together as
Garfunkel and Oates.
We'll tell you more about them this Friday, when they star in a new
Wainy Days BONUS music video, but for now just start with this song, "This Party Took A Turn For The Douche."
We knew for sure we had a crush on them when we heard the lyric "I ain't in love with you, cousin! I ain't George Michael Bluth! This party just took a turn... for the douche." Anyone who can reference Jim Croce and
Arrested Development in the same song deserves undying respect, yo.
(Stuff You're Looking For On This Blog)
You guys search for a lot of info about
Daily Grace and
Mememolly. And that's cool.
But I'm not Grace or Molly. Sorry. My name is
Maria.
(Sorry. Not blonde.)
I am My Damn Channel's "Social Media Voice," which means I write My Damn Channel's
Twitter,
Tumblr,
Facebook and
House Blog, among
other things. Yes, it's my fault that the
photoshop is bad and
the jokes aren't funny and
no one comments. So, if you haven't figured it out by now, I'm pretty good at my job.
What other kinds of things would you like to see here? What other things would you like to know?
Tell me. Let's TweetTumblFaceBlogSquare together. Leave some comments. Talk to me on Tumblr and Twitter and Facebook and stuff. I posted a picture of myself with a
light switch, for God's sake. If that doesn't scream "you can
talk to me" I don't know what does.
Posted in
Daily Grace,
Gigi,
Horrible People,
Maria with tags
Green Day,
"Wake Me Up When September Ends",
End of September,
American Idiot,
Daily Grace,
Grace Helbig sleeping,
Daily Grace YouTube,
Gigi YouTube,
Gigi Almost American,
Josh Gad,
Kristen Schaal,
Kristen Schaal online video,
Kristen Schaal picture on 9/30/2011 1:36:50 PM by
Maria
Ah, September. You went by so fast. How can it be the end of you already? We're still debating whether or not it's okay to wear white and now you want us to start thinking about Halloween costumes? Sigh.
In honor of the end of September and
a certain song by Green Day that has been stuck in our heads all day, we present images of My Damn Channel stars sleeping so that we can tell them to
"WAKE UP!" just like the song asks us to.
Wake up, Daily Grace! It's the end of September!
Wake up, Kristen Schaal! It's the end of September!
Wake up, Gigi! It's the end of September!
So we hope you're awake now."Waking you up when September ends" was kind of a weird request, right? Pretty arbitrary. We mean, if you're going to hibernate, why not just wake up in March? Whatever. We're your friends so we'll play alarm clock for you but just this once. Unless you pay us or something. Then we'd probably do it more.
We don't want to brag, but, uh, well, the guy in this picture recommending on
his Facebook Page that you check out
The Worst Generation is none other than
The Artist Formerly Known as "Chunk" from
The Goonies.
And even though he's now a big, fancy lawyer in LA, we'll always have a soft spot for
The Truffle Shuffle.
(L-R: Mitch, Thomas, Jim)
Editor's Note: Today we have guest bloggers! The Worst Generation is our newest series and we thought it might be nice for you to get to know its stars a little more intimately, so here they are:
So, My Damn Channel wants us to do some type of blog thingy to kinda introduce ourselves to the people of the internet. Since we don't have any actual "fan mail" (or even "fans" for that matter), I've ripped off a few questions from a Justin Bieber fan site for us to answer. Answer these bad boys and any other questions you can think of to get this bad boy rollin'.
+++++++++++++++++++
If your house was on fire and you could only take one thing with you what would it be?
- Roxy, 13, Detroit
JIM: Hi Roxy. Thanks for watching. I'd probably have to grab my amazing-incredible-pornography box, a.k.a. my computer. Either that or my collection of Simpsons action figures.
THOMAS: Bauer, he's the only hope any of us have for success. And you're an idiot Jim the question clearly stated one thing that you would take and you clearly listed two.
JIM: I get nervous talking to people from Detroit. She probably just wants to steal our stuff.
MITCH: My depression pills.
Where do you get your best love advice?
- Lonely in Little Rock
MITCH: My dad once told me. "never take home the three legged dog from the pound just because you feel sorry for it." That made since when I was 9 and it still does to this day.
JIM: I've tried it all; tarot cards, gypsy palm readings, fortune cookies, magic 8 balls... and I found the best place for you to get your love advise... is from inside your heart :)
THOMAS: I just watch what Mitch does, and it teaches me exactly what NOT to do as far as love is concerned.
If you could have dinner with 3 people, dead or alive, who would it be?
THOMAS: I don't really care as long as those three people are buying. And it better be some gourmet shit, if I have to go listen to three other people bore me to death I don't want to do it over a Big Mac and fries.
MITCH: Bo Jackson, The Pope, and Dennis Rodman
JIM: Wow Mitch, what are the odds of the Pope even responding to that evite? I'm going with Jenna Jameson, Pamela Anderson and Angelina Jolie. In their primes. Next question.
How does it feel to be mobbed by screaming girls?
JIM: You get used to it.
THOMAS: Feels normal, they've been doing it my whole life.
MITCH: Sometimes, I don't feel worthy of it all. Other times, it gets annoying having to hear all the jibber-jabber that comes along with it.
Describe your dream girl.
MITCH: I hear your dream girl is actually a version of your mother. So probably an annoying old bitch.
JIM: My dream girl is funny, smart, nice smile, pretty eyes, caring of others, and got an ass so big you can see it from the front.
THOMAS: Depends on my mood. And the season.
What would a fan have to do to date you?
THOMAS: Tell me their daddy was Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, Jerry Bruckheimer or any such type of person, so that I can leave these clowns of TWG behind and get started on my life doing something that is actually worth a shit.
JIM: Be 18 years old and have a vagina. A trust fund wouldn't hurt either.
MITCH: Have you ever heard of a ballcuzzi?
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
JIM: Hopefully off of unemployment and out of my parents' basement.
MITCH: Cute cottage near the sea with roommates that make me breakfast and flush the toilet once in a while... or unemployed in my parents basement.
THOMAS: Dating Spielberg's daughter.
How do you deal with all the haters out there?
MITCH: I always carry a butterfly knife I got in Baja. Can't hate when you're getting stabbed.
THOMAS: In the words of Tupac: " Fuck it. I feel like I shine. And I don't give a fuck how many white people, the Media, black people, playa haters, police, whoever, try to darken my shine, Im'a always shine through. "
JIM: Uhhhhh wait what?
What would you do if all the fame went away tomorrow?
JIM: If all of this fame was suddenly taken away from me, I'd probably blow my head off.
MITCH: It would be a long way to fall, but I'm sure I could still pull ass so who cares.
THOMAS: Be excited that I'd never have to answer stupid questions like these again. Is this really what you want us to do Jimmy? Whataya' stupid or something?
How would you describe your style?
THOMAS: Lazy
JIM: Oh I dunno, maybe rural-chic with an urban twist.
MITCH: Commando, Ballistic, and Fresh.
How do you maintain such a hot body?
THOMAS: Layers and no AC.
MITCH: Commitment to Excellence.
JIM: More like commitment to purging after every meal. I usually lift like 8 hours a day, 6 days a week.
Editor: Uh, thanks, guys! We'll all be watching you and Bauer every Tuesday at www.MyDamnChannel.com/TheWorstGeneration! And following you on Twitter at @TheWorstGen! And on Facebook at Facebook.com/TheWorstGeneration!
Otherwise we'll be avoiding Mitch and his butterfly knife.
We're premiering a new series tomorrow and this little guy is the star!
We put his picture up on
our Facebook page this morning and as of this writing 29 people have "liked" him and nine different ladies have written some iteration of "AWWWWW. SCHMOOPY. I WANNA HUG HIM AND SQUEEZE HIM AND CALL HIM GEORGE! HE'S SO CUUUUUUUTE!" in the
comments!
This series is going to go over super-well. We can feel it.
Sharon Beam and Susanna Stevens, watched
Versailles, visited our
Facebook page, and entered our sweepstakes, winning a trip to Los Angeles to meet
Versailles stars Patricia Heaton and David Hunt.
Where else would we meet up but at a restaurant NAMED "Versailles?"
David, Patricia, Sharon and Susanna got along like they were old friends. Gifts were exchanged, wine was opened, pictures were taken:
Oh, did we mention it was VERSAILLES wine we opened?
See? Don't you wish you had entered our sweepstakes? Real people win real prizes with My Damn Channel. Make sure you check this blog every day, and find us on
Facebook,
Twitter and
Tumblr to make sure you always know when it might be YOUR chance to win!
Now if only we could find a restaurant named Wainy Days.
Posted in
David Hunt,
Maria,
My Damn Channel,
Patricia Heaton,
Versailles with tags
Dodgers,
Diamondbacks,
Los Angeles,
baseball game,
name in lights,
name on the scoreboard,
LA Dodgers,
MLB,
Patricia Heaton,
Versailles,
The Middle,
sweepstakes winners on 8/2/2011 3:00:00 PM by
Maria
Anyone happen to be at the Dodgers-Diamondbacks game last Friday night at Dodger Stadium? Did you see our name up in lights? (Yes, we know what attendance is like these days at Dodger Stadium, so we're going to guess that not many of you did.)
We're in LA!
We're here to take the winners of the Versailles Sweepstakes to meet Patricia Heaton and David Hunt!
We're using exclamation marks at the end of each sentence because we really are THAT EXCITED about everything!
Stay tuned for more pictures of the winners and their prize...
Posted in
Daily Grace,
Josh Meisel,
My Damn Channel,
My Damn Channel Blog Network,
Slacktory with tags
Daily Grace,
Grace Helbig,
chuting,
planking,
Josh Meisel,
My Damn Channel,
The Slacktory,
My Damn Channel Blog Network,
owling on 7/29/2011 11:09:08 AM by Josh Meisel
Now at this point, you may be thinking "WHAT ON EARTH IS CHUTING?!?!" Webster's dictionary defines chuting as "the act of utilizing a chute (as by passing ore down it)." But Webster's dictionary is an idiot.
In the 21st century, chuting, invented by Grace Helbig in a recent Daily Grace, is an alternative to planking (pictured above), which is for babies. Here's two chuters inverted chuting at the American Museum of Natural History.
If you want to see what normal chuting looks like, you could hold your computer upside-down, or keep it rightside-up but look at it while inverted chuting yourself, or build a time machine and travel to 1897 to partake in George M. Stratton's perceptual adaptation experiment, in which participants wore goggles that inverted their vision vertically until their brain eventually inverted the image back to normal, at which point when the subject would remove their googles, their vision would be permanently upside-down.
Or you could check out this photo of a very athletic Darlene Contreras chuting on a soccer ball.
Or Taylor O'Brien 'chuting hoops.
And if you can't get enough of planking variants, check out this brief article from My Damn Chanel Blog Network member The Slacktory.
TGIF, HAGS, and happy 'chutin'!