(Intern Josh, wondering forlornly how he ended up here)
EDITOR'S NOTE: It's Josh's last day as an intern for My Damn Channel! I asked him to write up a post telling you what it was like for him this summer!
Coming into My Damn Channel as an intern I thought all I was gonna learn was how to file papers and fill out reports. Boy was I wrong! Friday will be my last day and I still haven't correctly filled out a single report. My boss is always saying that it drives him crazy how long it's taking me to get the hang of the office duties, but I can tell he's just joking. How I treasure that agonized look he gets trying so hard to hold back laughter.
What I learned though was way more valuable than any college education. I would say it was worth about $230,000, a couple hundred more than four years' tuition at Wesleyan. What I learned was the value of making the effort to gain the respect of your peers.
Before I ever set foot into that office, I had my work cut out for me. My future co-workers had already started gossiping that I only got the internship because of my family connections. After failing for three years to strike any gold, my great-great-grandfather started My Damn Channel during the California Gold Rush as a burlesque show designed to entertain entrepreneurs who had given up on trying to find gold and started companies catered to the needs of the gold miners. Grandpa Schmulie Meisel. I can't believe that was such a popular name back then — Grandpa.
My first day at work the guy sharing my cubicle got mad at me for unplugging his computer. "What do you need a blender for?!" he irrationally snarled. "How else are you gonna make computer smoothies silly? By hand?!" I chucked his computer into my oversized blender. He must've thought I was awfully spoiled, not making my computer smoothies by hand. I really had an uphill battle ahead of me if I wanted to gain anyone's respect.
A couple of days in I got the courage to pitch a show idea to the head of development. It was a parody of "Friends" called "Friends." He looked at me like I was an idiot. "You just handed me a bunch of "Friends" scripts. I think I know now why the printer's out of ink. Look, why don't you hold off for a bit before you make any more pitches." Apparently my scripts had gone right over his head. And "Friends" was a pretty accessible show. The guy I shared my cubicle was a rube, our head of development was dense as a neutron star, and my boss was an incorrigible prankster. My situation was less than ideal to say the least.
Halfway through the summer things had only gotten worse. I was miserable. My only friend was the janitor, and he was a Roomba! I'd cry myself to sleep every night, and when I wasn't feeling that sad I would get my butler to cry me to sleep. My job was a major disappointment. It wasn't at all like that show "The Office." We had TWO guys named Dwight, and the prettiest girl wasn't dating the most handsome guy (me), but instead this guy Jim who's so inexperienced with women that when I asked him to share some girlie stories he just laughed.
All I could do was trudge along until my five weeks were up, filing away papers wherever I could cram them (I may not get the job done pretty, but I'm damn fast). And just when I had given up on ever gaining a single ounce of respect from any My Damn Channel employee, a stroke of luck bolted me right in the face.
I'll always remember it like it was yesterday, even though it was only yesterday today. Jim's girlfriend (I think her name was Xamela) told him he needed to go somewhere to sign some forms. She couldn't give him a ride because she was busy. He asked if anyone else could take him, and I shot out of my chair like I was sitting on a lit match (which for the one of the first times I wasn't). Jim didn't see me at first; his eyes scanned the room for someone to drive him but everyone pretended to be hard at work because they were too lazy to take him. Finally he saw me and said "Fine let's go Josh." And fine it was. Everyone looked up at Jim and smiled at him. Their smiles seemed to say, "I'm really happy for you that you get to go on a fun/crazy/cool ride with Josh." But the smiles had a little menace behind them that signified jealousy.
When I got back my boss laughed with mirth, patted me on the back, and said, "Good job sonny." All I ever wanted was for my boss to think of me as a son, but life isn't easy. I had to put in my time to get what I wanted — let's just say I don't think I could've earned the luxury of being treated by my boss like his own flesh and blood if I hadn't given Jim that ride. And now, in these last couple of months before my summer ends and I have to go back to hitting the books trying to eventually earn my GED, I can look back at my time at My Damn Channel atop my pool float, computer smoothie in hand, and know that that one lesson I learned was well worth all my trifles. Plus it helped that I was making more than the rest of the office combined.
Thanks, Josh, er, Sonny! We will miss you! We know it will be tough going back to Stanford to get a world-class education, but it's better you than us!
We fully intend to continue stalking following you and your writing as @artsypriest and as a writer for The Stanford Chaparral.
PS: If any of you, dear readers, for some strange, maddening reason, would like to be an intern for My Damn Channel, please send an email to info@MyDamnChannel.com, and be sure to include links to your blog, Twitter and Tumblr accounts, or any other writing samples you might have! In the immortal words of the Jersey Shore kids in Italy, "Arrivederci, summer!"
It happens all the time. The birds leave the nest. The cubs leave the cave. The horses leave the stable. Who knows if all of those euphemisms are correct? We're just happy we know what the word "euphemism" means.
But today's the end of summer internships for a couple of the good ones:
Adam and Katie.
Adam helped us write pithy one-liners and articles for a blog that we might never be able to share with you at the rate we're going.
Katie dutifully sent t-shirts and pens to about five people over the summer, just like we asked her to.
We're not sure if they learned anything useful during their time with us, but we're pretty happy to share
burritos and
taco salads with them on their last day. Nothing quite says, "thank you," like the gift of Mexican cuisine.
So here's to you, sweet summer interns! May your returns to your respective schools and future ventures be as awesome as this past summer, but with a lot less heatpocalypse type stuff.
Maybe our very own Dan Wilburn-- himself a former Professional My Damn Channel Intern-- said it best in his tribute to them on Twitter:
But they were also the BEST kind of mediocre. (And actually, they were awesome all the way through. Not mediocre. Take it back, Dan Wilburn, take it back.)
Posted in
My Damn Channel with tags
My Damn Channel,
Interns,
Flush,
Toilet on 2/1/2010 11:50:39 AM by Virginia
My Damn Channel is doing its part to educate America's curious and lost youth: taking on several stupendous interns to edify the inner workings and secrets behind creating the World's Greatest Website and content. (All for the price of a smile.)
But first, as they say: they need to learn how to flush The Toilet.
I sure hope they can get this part right. It seems... somehow.. significant. Like texting 'Haiti' to the Red Cross, or making Daily Grace a part of your morning routine, or learning that no matter how 'magical' coconut water is, it's not worth the nauseating flavor going down...
Posted in
My Damn Channel with tags
My Damn Channel,
interns,
jobs,
new media,
fun on 12/29/2009 6:56:05 AM by Rob Barnett
Starting Monday, we wake from vaca, check our inbox, and see if you want to be INTERN OF THE DECADE.
Wanna be David Wain's wingman on a date?
Wanna help constantly uncurl and re-curl Grace's hair?
Wanna review hundreds of mildly amusing pitches for the next great web series?
If you live in New York and can somehow afford to be an intern, let us know.
Here's the shazizzle: We're seeking new interns in the NY office to bathe in the warm waters of content development, site programming, marketing, promotion, social networking and operations.
RESPONSIBILITIES:
- Reviewing content submissions and pitches
- Assist with video archiving
- Assist with site programming
- Prep videos for syndication
- Assist with marketing and promotions
- Social networking outreach
- General office assistance
- Opportunities to conceive and produce short-form video and graphic content
ABOUT YOU:
- Exceptional communication skills
- Highly motivated
- Detail oriented
- Quick learner
- Ability to prioritize multiple projects and tasks
- Ability to manage deadlines in a fast-paced environment
- Sense of humor (or more than a sense)
- Social Networking Nutjob
- Entertainment Junkie
- Knowledge of Final Cut Pro, Photoshop, HTML desirable
BENEFITS
- Learn multiple disciplines inside a leading new media company
- Dramatically increase your contacts in all areas of entertainment and new media
- Possibility for future employment (no...really)
INTERESTED?
Send the world's most convincing cover letter, plus resume, and specific availability (3 days per week minimum) to: info@MyDamnChannel.com
Posted in
My Damn Channel with tags
My Damn Channel,
interns,
New Media,
Employment on 8/23/2009 6:32:51 AM by Rob Barnett
My Damn Channel is looking for a few good interns and internettes.
Fall & Winter Enrollment is open now.
Wanna be David Wain's wingman on a date?
Wanna help constantly uncurl and re-curl Grace's hair?
Wanna review hundreds of mildly amusing pitches for the next great web series?
If you live in New York and can somehow afford to be an intern, let us know now.
If you include this coupon code in your cover letter,
we’ll know you're a suck-up: SAVE10GYMCLUB
Here's the formal listing:
ABOUT US:
My Damn Channel is an entertainment studio and new media platform created to empower artists to co-produce, distribute, and monetize original, episodic video content.
Our programming is created by filmmakers, actors, comedians and musicians for the My Damn Channel site (www.MyDamnChannel.com); for syndication on the most heavily-trafficked online communities and social networks; and for all digital platforms.
DESCRIPTION:
My Damn Channel is seeking interns to work in the NY office on content development, site programming, marketing, promotion, social networking and operations.
This is an excellent opportunity to work inside one of the leading companies creating and distributing original new media entertainment.
(who wrote THAT?)
GENERAL RESPONSIBILITIES:
- Screening content submissions and pitches
- Assist with video archiving
- Assist with site programming
- Prep videos for syndication
- Assist with marketing and promotions
- Social networking outreach
- General office assistance
- Opportunities to conceive and produce short-form video and graphic content
ABOUT YOU:
- Exceptional communication skills
- Highly motivated
- Detail oriented
- Quick learner
- Ability to prioritize multiple projects and tasks
- Ability to manage deadlines in a fast-paced environment
- Sense of humor (or more than a sense)
- Social Networking Fanatic
- Entertainment Junkie
- Knowledge of Final Cut Pro, Photoshop, HTML desirable
BENEFITS
- The opportunity to learn multiple disciplines inside a leading new media company
- Dramatically increase your contacts inside all areas of entertainment and new media
- Possibility for future employment
INTERESTED?
Send the world's best cover letter stating WHY YOU & WHAT you can do,
plus your resume, and specific availability to: Info@MyDamnChannel.com