Mark Malkoff's done it again.
The Apple Store. We've all been there. We have iPhones and iPads and iPods and MacBooks and MacBook Airs and MacBook Pros that need purchasing and servicing and updating and repair. We need software and Genius Bars and One to One help and Workshops about Final Cut Pro. And sometimes-- let's face it-- we just need to hang out in an air conditioned place with free internet access during a heatwave.
And those Apple Store employees, bless their hearts, never ever reprimand you for hogging that 17-inch MacBook Pro display even though everyone can see that you're just playing Words With Friends.
But what if Darth Vader needed help with his iPhone? Would an Apple Employee just go about business as usual and ask him for his email?
Well, okay. Fine. Sure. Of course Darth Vader has email. But what if Mark Malkoff ordered a pizza? Or brought
his wife in for a romantic dinner date? Or what if he brought a GOAT into the store? What then?
We'll let you
watch the video for yourself to see what happens. But the next time you find yourself killing time in an Apple Store pretending to check your email for 30 minutes but really just playing Angry Birds, maybe tell one of those Apple Store employees, "Thanks for being so cool, man. May the force be with you." And he might think you're weird, but he's probably still just gonna let you do your thing.
Such a tease, Mark Malkoff. We hope whatever happened with the goat is legal in places other than Florida.
Posted in
Maria,
My Damn Channel,
My Damn Channel Blog Network,
Nick Douglas,
Slacktory with tags
Slacktory,
Slacktory.com,
blog network,
Cheezburger,
Awl,
Nick Douglas,
internet culture,
pop culture,
comedy,
planking,
cats on 7/12/2011 3:00:00 AM by
Maria
Today is a new day in the world of My Damn Channel because we officially launch the My Damn Channel Blog Network with
Slacktory (http://slacktory.com).
Slacktory is helmed by one of our favorite internet users,
Nick Douglas, former editor of
Valleywag and
Urlesque, where he helped us navigate the vast internet with humor and wit. We were so impressed by him, naturally we
stalked followed Nick on Twitter and Tumblr and when he mentioned briefly that he was looking for a new challenge, we pounced. Social Media: it works!
(Nick!)
Now Nick and his merry band of writers are all part of the Damn Family. We always wanted more brothers and sisters, but Mom said "over her dead body," so this is, like, the
best kind of compromise. We get some new playmates and Mom's still alive.
Make sure you visit
Slacktory.com daily to find out what shenanigans that crazy internet has gotten itself into this time! Today, we have stories about Jessi Slaughter, a Harry Potter/Book of Mormon parody, a visit to Jack In The Box with Tom Waits and a weekly column from Mark Zuckerberg that Mark Zuckerberg has nothing to do with at all.
But, don't worry! We haven't forgotten our online video roots! Slacktory will curate, remix and mashup videos at
MyDamnChannel.com/Slacktory. Our first Slacktory
video has cats, babies and Hitler explaining "Planking," so, you know, there's something for everyone!
Slacktory is just the beginning. We're coming for you, Internet. Please continue to do ridiculous things so we always have something to talk about.
Posted in
Daily Grace with tags
Daily Grace,
Helbig,
sick,
stomach bug,
flu,
June,
bed on 6/16/2011 9:20:36 AM by Dubs
Grace, the toughest gal on the internet, teaches you how to be sick
while she's sick. Don't contract illness without watching
this episode. Feel better, Grace!
Posted in
Events,
Facebook,
Fred Willard,
Hollywood,
Matt Warren,
My Damn Channel,
New Series,
Patricia Heaton,
Twitter,
Versailles with tags
Versailles,
My Damn Channel,
Patricia Heaton,
David Hunt,
Sweepstakes,
Los Angeles,
Facebook,
Twitter,
MattheW,
New Series,
The Middle,
Everybody Loves Raymond,
Meet A Celebrity on 6/14/2011 9:41:20 AM by Matt Warren
Thanks to the magic of the internet, every episode of the "You're in Sports" gang's regret-and-gin-soaked shenanigoats is available for free and forever on our Versailles channel, thus completely negating the need to fake your own death and move to a new city under an assumed identity. Besides, such a mad plan would be doomed to failure. If there's anything Evelyn Anders & Co. have taught us, it's that escape from one's past is impossible.
But what's NOT impossible is a chance to actually meet Versailles stars Patricia Heaton (Evelyn) & David Hunt (Colin) in Los Angeles.
How? By entering the Versailles Sweepstakes Giveaway on our Facebook page!
Here's the deal: "like" us on Facebook, then enter as many times as you want to increase your chances of winning.
Plus, every time someone else enters the sweepstakes after YOU invite them, you get THREE ADDITIONAL ENTRIES.
And while you're at it, go ahead and "like" our official Versailles Facebook pages for a full FIVE ADDITIONAL ENTRIES. It's almost obscene how many chances we're giving you to win this.
Complete, lawyer-y entry information can be found here. And follow us on Twitter to keep up to date with all the latest sweepstakes info.
Huge thanks to everyone who made last night's 4th Birthday Party a whole lotta love!
We're honored to be a part of this creative community.
Huge thanks to everyone who takes a minute to watch - share - and like - the work of the artists we love and respect.
To our artists, fans, staff, advertisers, partners, investors, families and friends (who'd we leave out?)...we love you for helping us all get this far. We're committed to making more goodness for "4 MORE YEARS" and beyond.
Respect & Love,
Rob
Do you dream of the perfect body? Do you lay in bed surrounded by the detritus of your junk food addiction, fantasizing about peeling off your too-tight, slightly wet T-shirt to reveal a glistening, tanned torso sculpted to Wahlbergian perfection? Do you pine for abs so flawless that the Situation himself would throw himself under the nearest party bus at the mere sight of them? The answer, of course, is yes. We all do. And we all want it to happen RIGHT NOW.
But is it really possible to go from abpocalypse to abparadise in a mere thirty days? Well, My Damn Channel's resident sociologist/trickster god Mark Malkoff has done EXACTLY THAT, going from flab to fab in record time in this two-part video experiment.
The secret to his success? Diet, excercise, and enough hard boiled eggs to shame even Cool Hand Luke. So let Mark school you in the art of getting stupid cut and watch. Nutritionists say that clicking "play" just once can burn up to 1,200 calories.*
*(estimated)
Gigi: Almost American Season Finale now playing on an internet near you. Click
here to watch.
So I guess that's it then. All done. Thanks for coming.
WAIT!!!
This just in: Gigi "Extras" will be released every Wednesday!
Take your head out of the oven and we'll see you next Wednesday for more Gigi.
We're only two weeks away from the launch of
Versailles. Among the many stars of this dark and twisted comedy is the illustrious Fred Willard. Would it be bold of me to say that Versailles puts Fred in one of his top five comedic roles ever? Yes it would, and I just said it.
Versailles launches May 9th. Check out this
promo (featuring Fred Willard in a wrestling onesie) and set your internet for May 9th so you can be the first to check out this great new series.
Posted in
Go Sukashi! with tags
go sukashi,
sand dollar,
laser sword,
crazy,
real,
fight,
brooke,
brookers,
star wars,
george lucas,
syth,
skywalker,
emperor,
darth vader,
light saber,
stormtrooper,
brendan fraser on 3/29/2011 11:41:11 AM by Dubs
Go Sukashi!...I feel like we just met. But all is well that ends well and we should all be feeling pretty good about the last episode of season 2. This season has taken us on a ride through film parody, internet lore, and the origins of Sukashi himself. Episode 8 doesn't disappoint, so dry your eyes and shut your sweet mouth and we just might have a bonus episode for you next week. Sukashi!
Click for Episode 8!