Totally New Site and Totally LIVE Show

We've rebirthed!

My Damn Channel has a totally new site with HUGE thanks to everyone on our team who worked 'round the clock for months. And eternal thanks as always to my Co-Founder/COO Warren Chao, without whom life would hold far fewer smiles for us all.

We wanted to give you a better experience with My Damn Channel.

Please take a full tour of your new home. We've got a totally new design. You can log in with Facebook and share and comment much easier than before. We will be launching a totally new mobile site in the days ahead. And we've got more new sites launching in the My Damn Channel Blog Network.

We made a mondo announcement today with all the details about MY DAMN CHANNEL LIVE.

We're taking some of the best ingredients of late night TV andbringing them kicking and streaming onto the Internet.

MY DAMN CHANNEL LIVE is the first, daily, live comedy channel on YouTube and here on our site every weekday at 4 PM Eastern.

Our shows start next Wednesday, 3/28/12.

We're counting on you to be there with us. We'll be here for you every afternoon with celebrity guests, live interaction, and the premieres of more than 30 new My Damn Channel original series!  (not kidding)

Here's our host and the newest member of the My Damn Channel family: MEET BETH HOYT!
 
We love Beth and love every one you of who have helped us build My Damn Channel since 2007. The real world doesn't seem to get much easier out there, but we're in love with the idea of giving you as many happy good times as possible.

Today it all begins again.

Yours,

Rob Barnett
Founder/CEO, My Damn Channel

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Happy Wainy-tine's Day!

Guys, for real, I was totally going to get you all flowers for Valentine's Day, but I waited until the last minute, and now my florist is trying to FRICKIN' GOUGE ME...

Luckily I came up with something much better.

The Wainy Days Seasons 1-4 DVD is out!

You heard right...it's a DVD! An actual, physical memento that you can hold and cherish and lose when you move to a new place, and then download illegally from a torrent site even though file sharing is Un-American! (No joking though, don't do it. It makes David angry. You won't like David when he's angry.)

And this isn't just some ho-hum, hodge-podge compilation of webisodes you can watch for free online. Don't believe me? Then check out this sneak peek of the EXTREMELY NSFW "Makeout MegaMix," just one of the many extras:

It's an exciting time to be David Wain, or just a fan of David Wain. His new movie, Wanderlust (starring Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston) opens Friday. "Wainy Days Seasons 1-4" is available TODAY. Oh and can't get enough DW? Check out all the hardcore Season Five action right here.

See? You ARE loved! Now if only we could reach this guy:

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Butt Touchdown For The Win!

Ahem.

The New York Giants won Super Bowl XLVI with a "butt touchdown:"

(Image via SB Nation)

We would like to go on record to say that we believe this "butt touchdown" may have been inspired by Daily Grace's special Super Bowl cheer:

(image via)

But our FAVORITE part may have been Madonna's halftime show because it felt like her costume was an homage to someone very familiar:

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Wainy Days Season Finale!

Actually, no, it can't. Sorry. Who are we kidding?

It's the Wainy Days Season Finale! We wrote a poem for the occasion:

An Ode To Season Five

David Wain and hot girls go together like Peanut Butter and Jelly,
And this season's hot girls were Arielle and Kelly.
Arielle and Kelly you were so fine.
so fine, so fine, you blew David Wain's... mind.
One, a critic of theatre, the other a floor cleaner,
When they met each other they couldn't be meaner,
But The Wain had an idea so bright they couldn't deny it
... they went back to David's bed so they could all lie in it!
The rest involves some soap, a desk clerk and some chicken souvlaki,
We'd say more but we don't want to spoil the Wainy Days season finale!

What? You try rhyming "souvlaki" with something.

PS: If you're sad that this is the end of Season 5 and you're not sure how you're going to get your Wainy Days, fix, we suggest you order the Wainy Days DVD right away. Or make sure we're friends on Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr and watch for ways you might win a copy!

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Last Minute Halloween Costume: "Gigi"

So it's the week before Halloween and you can't go as a ghost again because your mom is pissed you keep cutting holes in her sheets. What to do? We're here to help. All this week we're going to tell you how to dress up like your favorite My Damn Channel stars.

First up, How To Dress Like Gigi:

What you need:

• hat
• button-down shirt
• striped tie
• cargo shorts
• glasses
• old-timey suitcase

Most of these items are probably lying around your parents' house somewhere or can be purchased pretty inexpensively at any second-hand store.

Once you get the look down, get the character down by walking around all day saying "shakey peachy" and pretending not to understand English. We predict this will go over particularly well with your girlfriend who already complains that you don't understand her.

If you do it correctly, you should resemble our friend Smokybanjo here, whose head has been poorly 'shopped onto Gigi for no reason other than we watched an old episode of YSAP and learned about the path tool. Happy Halloween!

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Wake You Up When September Ends? Okay.

Ah, September. You went by so fast. How can it be the end of you already? We're still debating whether or not it's okay to wear white and now you want us to start thinking about Halloween costumes? Sigh.

In honor of the end of September and a certain song by Green Day that has been stuck in our heads all day, we present images of My Damn Channel stars sleeping so that we can tell them to "WAKE UP!" just like the song asks us to.

Wake up, Daily Grace! It's the end of September!


Wake up, Kristen Schaal! It's the end of September!


Wake up, Gigi! It's the end of September!

So we hope you're awake now."Waking you up when September ends" was kind of a weird request, right? Pretty arbitrary. We mean, if you're going to hibernate, why not just wake up in March? Whatever. We're your friends so we'll play alarm clock for you but just this once. Unless you pay us or something. Then we'd probably do it more.

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Mark Malkoff's "Free Cab Rides"

Taxi Driver. Taxi. Cash Cab. That movie With Jimmy Fallon, Queen Latifah and Gisele Bundchen that no one will ever admit to seeing.

There's something glamorous and romantic about taxis, right? Who doesn't wish they could jump into one and say "Follow that car!" Or "Step on it!" Or "Don't you dare try to take me down the FDR during rush hour!"

A few weeks ago Mark Malkoff tried to make some taxi riders' dreams come true, so long as their taxi-riding dream wasn't more complicated than getting from one place to another:

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Highlights include when Mark and his driver "Tony Danza" the cab:

And Mark's costume changes:

Make sure you follow Mark on Twitter and Facebook so that the next time he's looking for someone to be in a video, it might be you. You might even get a free meal out of it, so long as you don't mind sitting in your food:

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How To Be An Intern

(Intern Josh, wondering forlornly how he ended up here)

EDITOR'S NOTE: It's Josh's last day as an intern for My Damn Channel! I asked him to write up a post telling you what it was like for him this summer!


Coming into My Damn Channel as an intern I thought all I was gonna learn was how to file papers and fill out reports. Boy was I wrong! Friday will be my last day and I still haven't correctly filled out a single report. My boss is always saying that it drives him crazy how long it's taking me to get the hang of the office duties, but I can tell he's just joking. How I treasure that agonized look he gets trying so hard to hold back laughter.

What I learned though was way more valuable than any college education. I would say it was worth about $230,000, a couple hundred more than four years' tuition at Wesleyan. What I learned was the value of making the effort to gain the respect of your peers.

Before I ever set foot into that office, I had my work cut out for me. My future co-workers had already started gossiping that I only got the internship because of my family connections. After failing for three years to strike any gold, my great-great-grandfather started My Damn Channel during the California Gold Rush as a burlesque show designed to entertain entrepreneurs who had given up on trying to find gold and started companies catered to the needs of the gold miners. Grandpa Schmulie Meisel. I can't believe that was such a popular name back then — Grandpa.

My first day at work the guy sharing my cubicle got mad at me for unplugging his computer. "What do you need a blender for?!" he irrationally snarled. "How else are you gonna make computer smoothies silly? By hand?!" I chucked his computer into my oversized blender. He must've thought I was awfully spoiled, not making my computer smoothies by hand. I really had an uphill battle ahead of me if I wanted to gain anyone's respect.

A couple of days in I got the courage to pitch a show idea to the head of development. It was a parody of "Friends" called "Friends." He looked at me like I was an idiot. "You just handed me a bunch of "Friends" scripts. I think I know now why the printer's out of ink. Look, why don't you hold off for a bit before you make any more pitches." Apparently my scripts had gone right over his head. And "Friends" was a pretty accessible show. The guy I shared my cubicle was a rube, our head of development was dense as a neutron star, and my boss was an incorrigible prankster. My situation was less than ideal to say the least.

Halfway through the summer things had only gotten worse. I was miserable. My only friend was the janitor, and he was a Roomba! I'd cry myself to sleep every night, and when I wasn't feeling that sad I would get my butler to cry me to sleep. My job was a major disappointment. It wasn't at all like that show "The Office." We had TWO guys named Dwight, and the prettiest girl wasn't dating the most handsome guy (me), but instead this guy Jim who's so inexperienced with women that when I asked him to share some girlie stories he just laughed.

All I could do was trudge along until my five weeks were up, filing away papers wherever I could cram them (I may not get the job done pretty, but I'm damn fast). And just when I had given up on ever gaining a single ounce of respect from any My Damn Channel employee, a stroke of luck bolted me right in the face.

I'll always remember it like it was yesterday, even though it was only yesterday today. Jim's girlfriend (I think her name was Xamela) told him he needed to go somewhere to sign some forms. She couldn't give him a ride because she was busy. He asked if anyone else could take him, and I shot out of my chair like I was sitting on a lit match (which for the one of the first times I wasn't). Jim didn't see me at first; his eyes scanned the room for someone to drive him but everyone pretended to be hard at work because they were too lazy to take him. Finally he saw me and said "Fine let's go Josh." And fine it was. Everyone looked up at Jim and smiled at him. Their smiles seemed to say, "I'm really happy for you that you get to go on a fun/crazy/cool ride with Josh." But the smiles had a little menace behind them that signified jealousy.

When I got back my boss laughed with mirth, patted me on the back, and said, "Good job sonny." All I ever wanted was for my boss to think of me as a son, but life isn't easy. I had to put in my time to get what I wanted — let's just say I don't think I could've earned the luxury of being treated by my boss like his own flesh and blood if I hadn't given Jim that ride. And now, in these last couple of months before my summer ends and I have to go back to hitting the books trying to eventually earn my GED, I can look back at my time at My Damn Channel atop my pool float, computer smoothie in hand, and know that that one lesson I learned was well worth all my trifles. Plus it helped that I was making more than the rest of the office combined.


Thanks, Josh, er, Sonny! We will miss you! We know it will be tough going back to Stanford to get a world-class education, but it's better you than us!

We fully intend to continue stalking following you and your writing as @artsypriest and as a writer for The Stanford Chaparral.

PS: If any of you, dear readers, for some strange, maddening reason, would like to be an intern for My Damn Channel, please send an email to info@MyDamnChannel.com, and be sure to include links to your blog, Twitter and Tumblr accounts, or any other writing samples you might have! In the immortal words of the Jersey Shore kids in Italy, "Arrivederci, summer!"

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Come At Me, Bro Speak!

Posted in Facebook, Maria, Slacktory with tags Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, Come At Me Bro, Bro Speak, Facebook TOS, Facebook Terms of Service, Facebook TOS translated on 8/11/2011 6:00:00 AM by Maria

(image via)

Your new favorite blog, Slacktory, did you the generous favor of translating Facebook's confusing and cumbersome Terms of Service into "Bro Speak" so that everyone can understand the rules, even if one happens to be wearing a baseball cap askew on one's head.

Here's an excerpt on Privacy, a subject that seems to get many Facebook users up in arms:

We give lots of fucks about your privacy, so we wrote this. Read it, so you know what the fuck we’re going to do with the shit you post, so you’re not all “Facebook, I had no idea!” when your shit is in our press releases. That way you know the deal when you’re deciding what to post.

Nice work, bro. Now that we're finally able to understand Facebook's Terms of Service, there will be NO CHANCE that we'll ever be upset with them for using in some public and vaguely nefarious manner any of the information or data that we've given them voluntarily! Hooray!

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Josh Gad to host SNL?

Posted in Gigi, Josh Gad, Maria with tags Josh Gad, SNL campaign, Saturday Night Live host campaign, Book of Mormon, Book of Mormon on Broadway on 8/8/2011 5:34:10 PM by Maria

Some intrepid fans have launched an online campaign to get Gigi and Book of Mormon star Josh Gad a hosting gig on Saturday Night Live, and we have to say, that sounds like a pretty good idea to us.

The site Brobible says, "Gad's one of the funniest, quick-witted young actors around, and his big frame and mop of curly hair belie his intelligence and comic timing. The ironic part about this campaign to get him to host 'SNL,' in my opinion, is that if he were a cast member on the show, he'd instantly become its biggest star. Think Will Ferrell meets Chris Farley. Seriously, he's that good, and it's apparently his lifelong dream to appear on 'SNL.' Isn't it everyone's?"

Wow.  So LIKE the page, support the campaign, and help Josh Gad live the dream, man.  Uh, we mean, "my mans."

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