Meet The Worst Generation

Editor's Note: Today we have guest bloggers! The Worst Generation is our newest series and we thought it might be nice for you to get to know its stars a little more intimately, so here they are:

So, My Damn Channel wants us to do some type of blog thingy to kinda introduce ourselves to the people of the internet. Since we don't have any actual "fan mail" (or even "fans" for that matter), I've ripped off a few questions from a Justin Bieber fan site for us to answer. Answer these bad boys and any other questions you can think of to get this bad boy rollin'.

+++++++++++++++++++

If your house was on fire and you could only take one thing with you what would it be?
- Roxy, 13, Detroit

JIM: Hi Roxy. Thanks for watching. I'd probably have to grab my amazing-incredible-pornography box, a.k.a. my computer. Either that or my collection of Simpsons action figures.

THOMAS: Bauer, he's the only hope any of us have for success. And you're an idiot Jim the question clearly stated one thing that you would take and you clearly listed two.

JIM: I get nervous talking to people from Detroit. She probably just wants to steal our stuff.

MITCH: My depression pills.



Where do you get your best love advice?
- Lonely in Little Rock

MITCH: My dad once told me. "never take home the three legged dog from the pound just because you feel sorry for it." That made since when I was 9 and it still does to this day.

JIM: I've tried it all; tarot cards, gypsy palm readings, fortune cookies, magic 8 balls... and I found the best place for you to get your love advise... is from inside your heart :)

THOMAS: I just watch what Mitch does, and it teaches me exactly what NOT to do as far as love is concerned.



If you could  have dinner with 3 people, dead or alive, who would it be?

THOMAS: I don't really care as long as those three people are buying. And it better be some gourmet shit, if I have to go listen to three other people bore me to death I don't want to do it over a Big Mac and fries.

MITCH: Bo Jackson, The Pope, and Dennis Rodman

JIM: Wow Mitch, what are the odds of the Pope even responding to that evite?  I'm going with Jenna Jameson, Pamela Anderson and Angelina Jolie. In their primes. Next question.


How does it feel to be mobbed by screaming girls?

JIM: You get used to it.

THOMAS: Feels normal, they've been doing it my whole life.

MITCH: Sometimes, I don't feel worthy of it all. Other times, it gets annoying having to hear all the jibber-jabber that comes along with it.


Describe your dream girl.

MITCH: I hear your dream girl is actually a version of your mother. So probably an annoying old bitch.

JIM: My dream girl is funny, smart, nice smile, pretty eyes, caring of others, and got an ass so big you can see it from the front.

THOMAS: Depends on my mood. And the season.


What would a fan have to do to date you?

THOMAS: Tell me their daddy was Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, Jerry Bruckheimer or any such type of person, so that I can leave these clowns of TWG behind and get started on my life doing something that is actually worth a shit.

JIM: Be 18 years old and have a vagina. A trust fund wouldn't hurt either.

MITCH: Have you ever heard of a ballcuzzi?


Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

JIM: Hopefully off of unemployment and out of my parents' basement.

MITCH: Cute cottage near the sea with roommates that make me breakfast and flush the toilet once in a while... or unemployed in my parents basement.

THOMAS: Dating Spielberg's daughter.


How do you deal with all the haters out there?

MITCH: I always carry a butterfly knife I got in Baja. Can't hate when you're getting stabbed.

THOMAS: In the words of Tupac: " Fuck it. I feel like I shine. And I don't give a fuck how many white people, the Media, black people, playa haters, police, whoever, try to darken my shine, Im'a always shine through. "

JIM: Uhhhhh wait what? 


What would you do if all the fame went away tomorrow?

JIM: If all of this fame was suddenly taken away from me, I'd probably blow my head off.

MITCH: It would be a long way to fall, but I'm sure I could still pull ass so who cares.

THOMAS: Be excited that I'd never have to answer stupid questions like these again. Is this really what you want us to do Jimmy? Whataya' stupid or something?


How would you describe your style?

THOMAS: Lazy

JIM:  Oh I dunno, maybe rural-chic with an urban twist.

MITCH: Commando, Ballistic, and Fresh.


How do you maintain such a hot body?

THOMAS: Layers and no AC.

MITCH: Commitment to Excellence.

JIM: More like commitment to purging after every meal. I usually lift like 8 hours a day, 6 days a week.

Editor: Uh, thanks, guys! We'll all be watching you and Bauer every Tuesday at www.MyDamnChannel.com/TheWorstGeneration! And following you on Twitter at @TheWorstGen!  And on Facebook at Facebook.com/TheWorstGeneration!

Otherwise we'll be avoiding Mitch and his butterfly knife.

---

Rob Barnett and Mark Malkoff on The Adam Carolla Show!

Blogworld is the gift that keeps on giving!

While they were all in Las Vegas to do the closing keynote for Blogworld, founder/CEO Rob Barnett and Mark Malkoff made guest appearances on Adam Carolla's podcast.

Rob and Adam are old friends so naturally they talk about:

• *How they're both probably in higher demand for keynotes than Screech and Carrot Top
• *How they're probably not as in high demand as George Clooney and Brad Pitt
• *How Rob hired Adam to replace Howard Stern
• *How Penn Jillette is ridiculously tall
• *How My Damn Channel and The Adam Carolla Show are going to work together!!!

And, to that last point, we feel like this:



Mark Malkoff's segment begins around 40 minutes in, and Adam promptly calls him "Mark Mackoff."  It's okay, though, they blame it on the bad handwriting of one of Adam's staff.  And then they talk about:

• *How Mark has a Guinness World Record in something
• *How Mark learned you can flush an entire roll of toilet paper down an airplane toilet in 4 seconds
• *How Adam HATES IT WHEN PEOPLE CAN'T EVEN MAKE A SIMPLE QUESADILLA
• *How Mark spent 5 Days In The Bathroom

So listen to the show now! 

Or go to Adam's website to hear it!   

You can even download it directly into iTunes!

Phew.  That was a lot.  Here, have a Rob Barnett and Adam Carolla chaser:

---

Adventures in Interning: Lesson One

My Damn Channel is doing its part to educate America's curious and lost youth: taking on several stupendous interns to edify the inner workings and secrets behind creating the World's Greatest Website and content.  (All for the price of a smile.) 

But first, as they say: they need to learn how to flush The Toilet.

I sure hope they can get this part right.  It seems... somehow.. significant.  Like texting 'Haiti' to the Red Cross, or making Daily Grace a part of your morning routine, or learning that no matter how 'magical' coconut water is, it's not worth the nauseating flavor going down...

---

MARGARET GETS HER FREAK ON

Breakout the tequila for your lunchtime office break fix

Kristen Schaal stars in the premiere of episode 6 of "HORRIBLE PEOPLE"

If you want to make it a long lunch break - start here with episode 1

---

Two F Words: (11.7.07 - 4:48 am)

As the sun rises, My Damn Channel celebrates our 100th birth-day. We're still in diapers but not full of shit. We're having too much fun learning how to walk and talk. We moved into a new office in NY this week. We spent the past year ramping up and launching from a tiny, 15-foot space gifted by an angelic co-con named Cathy. Our new place has enough space for the 7 of us ... we've even got our own toilet. In truth, it's pritty pritty cool. My office window stares directly into irony: facing the Viacom skyscraper where I spent over 11 years at MTV + VH1. Our LA team is still bunkering together in close quarters but a latenight television pal is threatening to buy a cool new place near the beach and be our NEW "Landlord." Great phone call from a HipHop icon yesterday looking for his own "My Damn Channel." If this deal closes as fast as it seems to be moving, it'll be because of the first two minutes of that call.....and because of the two F bombs that he dropped. I asked why this man wanted to move to webworld with such a solid track record in music, film, and television. "FREEDOM - Freedom - Freedom - Freedom," was his first response. He'd grown tired of taking too many meetings and said he was always filled with too many good new ideas to wade through months of red tape to get every new project off the ground. Second F Bomb: FAST. He wants to start his own My Damn Channel now. He has a new television deal in the spring and I asked if he wanted to wait to let all the heat hit at once. The response was "let's go NOW." The entire call went just like that. Total agreement - no need to wait. No lengthy lawyers dancing either. It was the same way when we first pitched David Wain. That meeting took ten minutes for David to get to "yes." Don Was happened in seconds. Harry Shearer and I wanted to do this (without realizing it) from the day we met. Kimmel brought Milonakis. This father/son team are brothers in arms and the newest Milonakis music video in our pipeline is going to blow up insane. We launch our newest "My Damn Channel" this Friday. The announcement breaks tomorrow. Bonus F bomb for all the souls on strike this morning: FIGHT.

---