Celebrity Sleepovers with Mark Malkoff!

Mark Malkoff figured out fast that Los Angeles gets expensive for a guy living out of a suitcase. So he decided simply to ask celebrities if he could sleep at their homes. He just ASKED them! And they said YES!

He slept with Camryn Manheim's Emmy. He met Mary Lynn Rajskub and her son. He stayed in Justine Bateman's treehouse. He practiced napping with Kristen Schaal. He slept in the same bed with Kate Walsh...only after Kate called Mark's wife and assured her that it was perfectly fine since she wasn't attracted to him at all!

Ed Begley, Jr., Dave Coulier, "Bridesmaids" director Paul Feig, "Everybody Loves Raymond" creator Phil Rosenthal, legends Buck Henry and Dick Cavett...Mark convinced them all to open their doors and let him spend the night.

Well... almost all of them (Lookin' at you, Rob Corddry. Lookin' at YOU.).

Watch what happened at Dave Coulier's house now!

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TOP 11 of '11

It's the 5th year we get to thank you and wish you Happy Holidays from the heart (no joke).

We honestly love you for watching & sharing My Damn Channel original videos.

We promise to deliver the goods again in '12‚ and we'll be launching our new daily live show with YouTube, strangely titled: MY DAMN CHANNEL: LIVE


The staff took an informal poll and picked 11 faves from the past year‚ they're all HERE for your holiday dining and dancing pleasure:

1. WAINY DAYS - Kelly & Arielle (Part 1)
David Wain returns in the triumphant Season 5 of our longest-running hit comedy series with a killer new cast & a new sponsor: FIAT!

2. GIGI: ALMOST AMERICAN - Donate Good Cause
Josh Gad stars as "Gigi," an awesome, original character that infected our fans on My Damn Channel and on YouTube.

3. GARFUNKEL & OATES - David Wain is Sexy
Garfunkel & Oates created this chart-topper to honor WAINY DAYS with David Wain guesting on vocals and guitar.

4. DAILY GRACE - Official Sexy Friday song with Rebecca Black
Rebecca Black recently told YouTube that our My Damn Channel goddess, Daily Grace was one of her favorite people on YouTube. Grace invaded Rebecca's studio for the surprise awesome duet of the year.

5. HARRY SHEARER - Touch My Junk
Our patron saint and in-house hero has blown our brains with original videos since day ONE back in 2007. Here's his musical love note to airport TSA pat-downs.

6. MARK MALKOFF - Apple Store Challenge
MARK MALKOFF - Big Wheel vs. Bus
Every Malkoff adventure captures our imagination, lotsa video views and tons of well-deserved press. He tied for #6 with two videos that tapped the zeitgeist in 2011.

7. VERSAILLES - Episode #7
David Hunt created one of the most original series on My Damn Channel this year with an amazing cast joining him including Patricia Heaton, William H. Macy, Eve Gordon, Martha MacIsaac & the great Fred Willard.

8. SLACKTORY - Slackgeist 2011: The Year in Stupidity
We launched a new My Damn Channel Blog Network this year and Nick Douglas is running an awesome new site for us called Slacktory. Their blog posts are toooo good and they make videos tooo. Here's their year-ender.

9. WAINY DAYS - Kelly & Arielle (Part 4)
Thomas Lennon reunites with David Wain in this new episode from Season 5.

10. SAUL HERNANDEZ - Molecular (from our music channel produced by Don Was)
Don Was is one of the greatest musicians and music producers there is. He's been running our music channel here since day one in 2007 & we all fell in love with one of this year's original songs by Saul Hernandez, lead vocalist and songwriter for the Mexican bands Caifanes and Jaguares.

11. DICKI - Making Friends
We're in love with Mary Lynn Rajskub (Chloe from "24"). She's a new member of the My Damn Channel fam with an original character comedy, DICKI.

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IAWTV Awards Nominations!

It's Awards Nomination Season: Golden Globe nominations! SAG nominations! Oscar nominations! IAWTV Award nominations!

Yes, the International Academy of Web Television (IAWTV) created these Awards to "provide a venue for celebrating original entertainment distributed on the open Internet by honoring the best in web television programming and recognizing the achievements of online content creators."

And that's US!

We scored FOUR nominations and couldn't be prouder:

Best Writing (Non-Fiction): Daily Grace



Best Animated Series: The World of Bruce McCall



Best Variety Series: Mark Malkoff



Best Comedy Series: Gigi: Almost American

Congrats to all of our fellow nominees! We're honored to be among you. Can't wait to see all of you in Las Vegas in January, at the IAWTV Awards Ceremony!

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What's Mark Malkoff Up To?

Mark Malkoff, Camryn Manheim and Camryn Manheim's Emmy

Where's Mark Malkoff been?

Was he so exhausted from taking people on Free Cab Rides all over New York City that he's gone into hiding? Was his last vlog chronicling his adventures arm-wrestling children just too Over The Top?

Fear not. Mark is hard at work in Los Angeles putting together his next project for you: "Celebrity Sleepovers."

Make sure you visit the My Damn Channel Facebook Page where we will post photos of Mark and some of the celebs who have let him into their home.

Like Lisa Loeb:

And Ed Begley, Jr.:

... where we see the arm-wrestling thing is starting to become a recurring theme.

We'll let you know when the video is going to premiere. Until then, we hope more celebrities arm wrestle with Mark because Dan Harmon and I agree that these Over The Top jokes are never going to get old:

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Put A Tony Danza On It

After watching Mark Malkoff's "Free Cab Rides" video, we were particularly struck by the part where Mark and his driver Sean decide to "Tony Danza" the cab.

Brilliant.

An ode to Tony Danza's turn in TAXI, sure, but why not an ode to Tony Danza in general? We're ashamed to admit that we think about Who's The Boss? on almost a daily basis. Like, who WAS the boss? That question has boggled us since we were seven. So, we thought, let's Tony Danza some sh*t.

(Jeff Bezos "Put A Tony Danza" on the Kindle Fire!)


(Wanna make How To Make It In America a better show?
"Put A Tony Danza On It!")

Here, maybe you wanna "Put A Tony Danza On It" yourself?

Go for it! You know how on Portlandia they "Put A Bird On It?" Well, maybe the rest of us should "Put A Tony Danza On It." Maybe you want to help a new generation embrace a beloved 80's sitcom star due to an obscure but indefatigable movement to put his likeness in unexpected places!

Or, you know, maybe you're just bored and you don't suck at Photoshop. Either of those reasons could lead to a perfectly acceptable decision to "Put A Tony Danza On It." Just be sure to let us know if you do.

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Mark Malkoff's "Free Cab Rides"

Taxi Driver. Taxi. Cash Cab. That movie With Jimmy Fallon, Queen Latifah and Gisele Bundchen that no one will ever admit to seeing.

There's something glamorous and romantic about taxis, right? Who doesn't wish they could jump into one and say "Follow that car!" Or "Step on it!" Or "Don't you dare try to take me down the FDR during rush hour!"

A few weeks ago Mark Malkoff tried to make some taxi riders' dreams come true, so long as their taxi-riding dream wasn't more complicated than getting from one place to another:

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Highlights include when Mark and his driver "Tony Danza" the cab:

And Mark's costume changes:

Make sure you follow Mark on Twitter and Facebook so that the next time he's looking for someone to be in a video, it might be you. You might even get a free meal out of it, so long as you don't mind sitting in your food:

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Waste Time With Us In Even More Places!

We have a foursquare page!

We debuted it in stealth mode a couple of weeks ago, but we figured it would be a good time to tell everyone about its existence today since Mark Malkoff would be checking in all over New York City.

So you should follow us on foursquare. We're making lists of places you should go, curated carefully by our staff. We're giving you tips on what to do to ensure maximum fun time. And since our staff are the ones making these lists, you might even run into one of us having a drink somewhere, or just laughing really hard at with our friends.

We'll also use the page to tell you when we're doing fun things and carrying around free My Damn Channel swag to give away to our friends.

So follow us, friend us and hang out with us. Unless that restraining order is still in effect (you know who you are).

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How To Get a Free Cab Ride with Mark Malkoff

So you want to be in a video with an Internet Celebrity, huh?

Here's your chance:

1. Watch the video above.
2. Be in New York City (mostly around Manhattan) on Tuesday, September 13th.
3. Need a place to go.
4. Tell Mark Malkoff by Tweeting him at @mmalkoff where you are and where you would like to go.
5. Maybe you a get a Free Cab Ride!
6. Maybe you don't.
7. Try again. Keep tweeting @mmalkoff and try to get that free ride!
8. Follow Mark on foursquare to see if he's nearby! (Here's a hint: Your chances of getting picked up are better if he's already in your area!)
9. Follow My Damn Channel on foursquare since we will be checking in with Mark at some point during the day and handing out some My Damn Chanel swag to people who also check in at this location!
10. Wait patiently for the video to premiere here on September 28th and see if your ride made the cut!

If you don't get a free cab ride, hopefully you know how to buy a Metrocard...or may we suggest you invest in a Big Wheel?

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Meet The Worst Generation

Editor's Note: Today we have guest bloggers! The Worst Generation is our newest series and we thought it might be nice for you to get to know its stars a little more intimately, so here they are:

So, My Damn Channel wants us to do some type of blog thingy to kinda introduce ourselves to the people of the internet. Since we don't have any actual "fan mail" (or even "fans" for that matter), I've ripped off a few questions from a Justin Bieber fan site for us to answer. Answer these bad boys and any other questions you can think of to get this bad boy rollin'.

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If your house was on fire and you could only take one thing with you what would it be?
- Roxy, 13, Detroit

JIM: Hi Roxy. Thanks for watching. I'd probably have to grab my amazing-incredible-pornography box, a.k.a. my computer. Either that or my collection of Simpsons action figures.

THOMAS: Bauer, he's the only hope any of us have for success. And you're an idiot Jim the question clearly stated one thing that you would take and you clearly listed two.

JIM: I get nervous talking to people from Detroit. She probably just wants to steal our stuff.

MITCH: My depression pills.



Where do you get your best love advice?
- Lonely in Little Rock

MITCH: My dad once told me. "never take home the three legged dog from the pound just because you feel sorry for it." That made since when I was 9 and it still does to this day.

JIM: I've tried it all; tarot cards, gypsy palm readings, fortune cookies, magic 8 balls... and I found the best place for you to get your love advise... is from inside your heart :)

THOMAS: I just watch what Mitch does, and it teaches me exactly what NOT to do as far as love is concerned.



If you could  have dinner with 3 people, dead or alive, who would it be?

THOMAS: I don't really care as long as those three people are buying. And it better be some gourmet shit, if I have to go listen to three other people bore me to death I don't want to do it over a Big Mac and fries.

MITCH: Bo Jackson, The Pope, and Dennis Rodman

JIM: Wow Mitch, what are the odds of the Pope even responding to that evite?  I'm going with Jenna Jameson, Pamela Anderson and Angelina Jolie. In their primes. Next question.


How does it feel to be mobbed by screaming girls?

JIM: You get used to it.

THOMAS: Feels normal, they've been doing it my whole life.

MITCH: Sometimes, I don't feel worthy of it all. Other times, it gets annoying having to hear all the jibber-jabber that comes along with it.


Describe your dream girl.

MITCH: I hear your dream girl is actually a version of your mother. So probably an annoying old bitch.

JIM: My dream girl is funny, smart, nice smile, pretty eyes, caring of others, and got an ass so big you can see it from the front.

THOMAS: Depends on my mood. And the season.


What would a fan have to do to date you?

THOMAS: Tell me their daddy was Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, Jerry Bruckheimer or any such type of person, so that I can leave these clowns of TWG behind and get started on my life doing something that is actually worth a shit.

JIM: Be 18 years old and have a vagina. A trust fund wouldn't hurt either.

MITCH: Have you ever heard of a ballcuzzi?


Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

JIM: Hopefully off of unemployment and out of my parents' basement.

MITCH: Cute cottage near the sea with roommates that make me breakfast and flush the toilet once in a while... or unemployed in my parents basement.

THOMAS: Dating Spielberg's daughter.


How do you deal with all the haters out there?

MITCH: I always carry a butterfly knife I got in Baja. Can't hate when you're getting stabbed.

THOMAS: In the words of Tupac: " Fuck it. I feel like I shine. And I don't give a fuck how many white people, the Media, black people, playa haters, police, whoever, try to darken my shine, Im'a always shine through. "

JIM: Uhhhhh wait what? 


What would you do if all the fame went away tomorrow?

JIM: If all of this fame was suddenly taken away from me, I'd probably blow my head off.

MITCH: It would be a long way to fall, but I'm sure I could still pull ass so who cares.

THOMAS: Be excited that I'd never have to answer stupid questions like these again. Is this really what you want us to do Jimmy? Whataya' stupid or something?


How would you describe your style?

THOMAS: Lazy

JIM:  Oh I dunno, maybe rural-chic with an urban twist.

MITCH: Commando, Ballistic, and Fresh.


How do you maintain such a hot body?

THOMAS: Layers and no AC.

MITCH: Commitment to Excellence.

JIM: More like commitment to purging after every meal. I usually lift like 8 hours a day, 6 days a week.

Editor: Uh, thanks, guys! We'll all be watching you and Bauer every Tuesday at www.MyDamnChannel.com/TheWorstGeneration! And following you on Twitter at @TheWorstGen!  And on Facebook at Facebook.com/TheWorstGeneration!

Otherwise we'll be avoiding Mitch and his butterfly knife.

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Come At Me, Bro Speak!

Your new favorite blog, Slacktory, did you the generous favor of translating Facebook's confusing and cumbersome Terms of Service into "Bro Speak" so that everyone can understand the rules, even if one happens to be wearing a baseball cap askew on one's head.

Here's an excerpt on Privacy, a subject that seems to get many Facebook users up in arms:

We give lots of fucks about your privacy, so we wrote this. Read it, so you know what the fuck we’re going to do with the shit you post, so you’re not all “Facebook, I had no idea!” when your shit is in our press releases. That way you know the deal when you’re deciding what to post.

Nice work, bro. Now that we're finally able to understand Facebook's Terms of Service, there will be NO CHANCE that we'll ever be upset with them for using in some public and vaguely nefarious manner any of the information or data that we've given them voluntarily! Hooray!

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