Previously on Wainy Days...

The New Year just started, but the latest season of Wainy Days is almost over! Next Monday, January 9, 2012, is the Season Finale!

I know, right?!

Here's a quick recap to get you all caught up:

• *David went on a date with Kelly (Erinn Hayes)-- a theater critic for the New York Times(!), but she had a thing for David's next-door neighbor, a TV star named "Chez," played by Ken Marino


• *David met Arielle (Lizzy Caplan), who was reading a book called "Rosewood Junction" that David pretended to know all about.


• *At the suggestion of a co-worker at the sweatshop (Jorma Taccone), David tries to find "Rosewood Junction" as a book-on-tape so he'll know all about it before his date with Arielle! The nice old lady who runs the bookstore has an interesting relationship with her landlord (Steven Weber)


• *David got his book-on-tape, but he needs Zandy's Walkman to listen to it, and she left her Walkman (seriously?!) at her ex-boyfriend's (Thomas Lennon), who happens to be a BIG Derek Jeter fan...


• *David goes on his date with Arielle, but she wants to talk about more than just "Rosewood Junction!" Go figure.

Which brings us to this week's episode, in which everyone meets again... at a dramatic reading of TV dialogue by Ken Marino.

You're caught up now. Don't say you don't know what's going on because it would be a lie. Next thing you know you'll be saying that you know what "Rosewood Junction" is about:

Nice try, guys. Nice try.

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That Ain't Right

We're back!

After a short hiatus prompted by the laziness of our editor (ed. note: Sorry, dudes.) "That Ain't Right" returns!

This is where we scan Twitter for people who say "My Damn Channel" but are in no way referring to us! And through much scientific study (ed. note: There was NO scientific study.) we determined that the correct response to each tweet is "That Ain't Right!" Here we go:

Lifetime is my Damn channel

— Bitch-'Im-PootieTang (@BeccaMathers) December 19, 2011

@BeccaMathers , you are preaching to the choir. I was having a little trouble trying to fit the phrase “That Ain’t Right” into this because loving Lifetime is oh-so-very-right. Then it dawned on me, “Lifetime is MY damn channel”? Are you planning on taking Lifetime away from us all and depriving us of the sweet combination of Meredith Baxter Birney and reruns of “Unsolved Mysteries”. Take some other channel like Home and Garden or The CW. Not sharing Lifetime with the rest of us? That Ain’t Right!

I wake up watchn family feud ... Who changed my damn channel?

— Maria Redd!! (@ObeyMeBitchez) December 18, 2011

@obeyMeBitchez , our hearts go out to you, it seems like you are living a nightmare scenario. Anyone who wakes up from a nap to hear Louie Anderson yelling “Top 6 reasons to eat a sandwich!” deserves a hug. To the people who changed @obeyMeBitchez , changing the channel to a show hosted by the son of satan himself, Louie Anderson?!?! That Ain’t Right!

This Lil Grl Gone Get Enough Of Changing My Damn Channel!

— Sandie_Mariee :) (@Caremel_Beautyy) December 20, 2011

That lil grl better done gone get enough of changing your damn channel! Grl changing your channel! That ain’t right! For real though lil grl, it sounds like you need some guidance. Changing @Caremel_Beautyy ‘s channel is not the answer to solving your problems. If you need some help, we here at MyDamnChannel are more then willing to listen. If you don’t speak out your problems they will grow inside and come out as hate, that simply Ain’t Right.

This the same lil ugly friend that came in, sat his ass on the couch and changed my damn channel like he live here

— soleil wilson (@lextasy_21) December 18, 2011

@lextasy I think you need a new choice of friends. We here at MyDamnChannel are more then willing to step up and apply to take over. Unlike your last friend we are tall and handsome, only sit where we are told and would never in a million years even think of changing your channel. We also are great listeners and make a Tiramisu that is out of this world. Keeping your old and disrespectful friends around? Does he even know what a Tiramisu is? I bet he can’t tell the difference between a Ramekin and a cupcake wrapper! That Ain’t Right!

the dog jus changed my damn channel!

— iwna panda -.- (@FinesseYoNigga_) December 19, 2011

WHAT!!! @FinesseYoNigga! You have found your own personal version of Airbud! Sure, he may not be able to shoot the game winning 3 pointer or score the game winning touchdown (See “Airbud 2: Golden Receiver”) but he can change a channel! You must find a way to hone his talents otherwise they will go to waste and That Ain’t Right!

That's all for this edition of "That Ain't Right"! Will there be one more before the end of 2011? (ed. note: I promise nothing.)

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Steve Jobs, 1955-2011

And that's really what it is, isn't it?

We're all sitting here, staring at our iPhones in disbelief. Finding comfort in one of the tens of thousands of songs on our iPod. Searching the internet to share in the mourning en masse on our MacBooks.

After we're done here, we'll edit some videos using Final Cut Pro. While we listen to a playlist we made on iTunes. When we get hungry later, we'll use an app on our iPhone to figure out a good place nearby to eat. When we get home, we'll iChat with our parents across the country and tell them what we've been up to. Hell, even one of our most popular videos took place in an Apple Store.

For so many of us who never even met the man, we can't imagine what our lives would have been like without him.

The real brilliance of Steve Jobs's vision is that he believed we all deserved to live the lives of our dreams, and he gave us as many tangible tools as possible to try and do just that. How many of us began vlogging because we were experimenting with our iSights? How many of us became interested in telling stories because of iMovie? How many of us now see the world refracted through Steve Jobs's lens?

We're not the first to post this video, but its message bears repeating, even on days when it isn't almost painfully poignant:

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

Thanks for believing in all of us, Steve. You have to have known that you made a difference.

(Image via Jonathan Mak)

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Meet The Worst Generation

Editor's Note: Today we have guest bloggers! The Worst Generation is our newest series and we thought it might be nice for you to get to know its stars a little more intimately, so here they are:

So, My Damn Channel wants us to do some type of blog thingy to kinda introduce ourselves to the people of the internet. Since we don't have any actual "fan mail" (or even "fans" for that matter), I've ripped off a few questions from a Justin Bieber fan site for us to answer. Answer these bad boys and any other questions you can think of to get this bad boy rollin'.

+++++++++++++++++++

If your house was on fire and you could only take one thing with you what would it be?
- Roxy, 13, Detroit

JIM: Hi Roxy. Thanks for watching. I'd probably have to grab my amazing-incredible-pornography box, a.k.a. my computer. Either that or my collection of Simpsons action figures.

THOMAS: Bauer, he's the only hope any of us have for success. And you're an idiot Jim the question clearly stated one thing that you would take and you clearly listed two.

JIM: I get nervous talking to people from Detroit. She probably just wants to steal our stuff.

MITCH: My depression pills.



Where do you get your best love advice?
- Lonely in Little Rock

MITCH: My dad once told me. "never take home the three legged dog from the pound just because you feel sorry for it." That made since when I was 9 and it still does to this day.

JIM: I've tried it all; tarot cards, gypsy palm readings, fortune cookies, magic 8 balls... and I found the best place for you to get your love advise... is from inside your heart :)

THOMAS: I just watch what Mitch does, and it teaches me exactly what NOT to do as far as love is concerned.



If you could  have dinner with 3 people, dead or alive, who would it be?

THOMAS: I don't really care as long as those three people are buying. And it better be some gourmet shit, if I have to go listen to three other people bore me to death I don't want to do it over a Big Mac and fries.

MITCH: Bo Jackson, The Pope, and Dennis Rodman

JIM: Wow Mitch, what are the odds of the Pope even responding to that evite?  I'm going with Jenna Jameson, Pamela Anderson and Angelina Jolie. In their primes. Next question.


How does it feel to be mobbed by screaming girls?

JIM: You get used to it.

THOMAS: Feels normal, they've been doing it my whole life.

MITCH: Sometimes, I don't feel worthy of it all. Other times, it gets annoying having to hear all the jibber-jabber that comes along with it.


Describe your dream girl.

MITCH: I hear your dream girl is actually a version of your mother. So probably an annoying old bitch.

JIM: My dream girl is funny, smart, nice smile, pretty eyes, caring of others, and got an ass so big you can see it from the front.

THOMAS: Depends on my mood. And the season.


What would a fan have to do to date you?

THOMAS: Tell me their daddy was Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, Jerry Bruckheimer or any such type of person, so that I can leave these clowns of TWG behind and get started on my life doing something that is actually worth a shit.

JIM: Be 18 years old and have a vagina. A trust fund wouldn't hurt either.

MITCH: Have you ever heard of a ballcuzzi?


Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

JIM: Hopefully off of unemployment and out of my parents' basement.

MITCH: Cute cottage near the sea with roommates that make me breakfast and flush the toilet once in a while... or unemployed in my parents basement.

THOMAS: Dating Spielberg's daughter.


How do you deal with all the haters out there?

MITCH: I always carry a butterfly knife I got in Baja. Can't hate when you're getting stabbed.

THOMAS: In the words of Tupac: " Fuck it. I feel like I shine. And I don't give a fuck how many white people, the Media, black people, playa haters, police, whoever, try to darken my shine, Im'a always shine through. "

JIM: Uhhhhh wait what? 


What would you do if all the fame went away tomorrow?

JIM: If all of this fame was suddenly taken away from me, I'd probably blow my head off.

MITCH: It would be a long way to fall, but I'm sure I could still pull ass so who cares.

THOMAS: Be excited that I'd never have to answer stupid questions like these again. Is this really what you want us to do Jimmy? Whataya' stupid or something?


How would you describe your style?

THOMAS: Lazy

JIM:  Oh I dunno, maybe rural-chic with an urban twist.

MITCH: Commando, Ballistic, and Fresh.


How do you maintain such a hot body?

THOMAS: Layers and no AC.

MITCH: Commitment to Excellence.

JIM: More like commitment to purging after every meal. I usually lift like 8 hours a day, 6 days a week.

Editor: Uh, thanks, guys! We'll all be watching you and Bauer every Tuesday at www.MyDamnChannel.com/TheWorstGeneration! And following you on Twitter at @TheWorstGen!  And on Facebook at Facebook.com/TheWorstGeneration!

Otherwise we'll be avoiding Mitch and his butterfly knife.

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Adam Carolla on Jimmy Kimmel

Congratulations to our pal, Adam! The Adam Carolla Show is officially the most downloaded podcast in the world, and Jimmy Kimmel Live had him on to celebrate his Guinness World Record.

Check out Adam and Jimmy here.
 
Keep up with everything Aceman - see all the guests - listen to the show - subscribe to the video podcast - now - like NOW at www.MyDamnChannel.com/AdamCarolla

GET IT ON!

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A Part Of Me Just Died

According to "the internets", there are no 2011 year model cars that come with tape decks. How am I supposed to listen to my cassette single of Aerosmith's "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" without a tape deck??? This must have been how my Dad felt when he found out they stopped making LaserDisc players (which was surprisingly only in 2009).

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Rob Barnett and Mark Malkoff on The Adam Carolla Show!

Blogworld is the gift that keeps on giving!

While they were all in Las Vegas to do the closing keynote for Blogworld, founder/CEO Rob Barnett and Mark Malkoff made guest appearances on Adam Carolla's podcast.

Rob and Adam are old friends so naturally they talk about:

• *How they're both probably in higher demand for keynotes than Screech and Carrot Top
• *How they're probably not as in high demand as George Clooney and Brad Pitt
• *How Rob hired Adam to replace Howard Stern
• *How Penn Jillette is ridiculously tall
• *How My Damn Channel and The Adam Carolla Show are going to work together!!!

And, to that last point, we feel like this:



Mark Malkoff's segment begins around 40 minutes in, and Adam promptly calls him "Mark Mackoff."  It's okay, though, they blame it on the bad handwriting of one of Adam's staff.  And then they talk about:

• *How Mark has a Guinness World Record in something
• *How Mark learned you can flush an entire roll of toilet paper down an airplane toilet in 4 seconds
• *How Adam HATES IT WHEN PEOPLE CAN'T EVEN MAKE A SIMPLE QUESADILLA
• *How Mark spent 5 Days In The Bathroom

So listen to the show now! 

Or go to Adam's website to hear it!   

You can even download it directly into iTunes!

Phew.  That was a lot.  Here, have a Rob Barnett and Adam Carolla chaser:

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Vegas, Baby, Vegas!

Last weekend My Damn Channel founder/CEO Rob Barnett hosted all-star panel for the closing keynote at the Blogworld & New Media Expo in Las Vegas.

Some of Rob's old friends like Penn Jillette and Adam Carolla and some of Rob's new friends like Mark Malkoff, Cali Lewis and Jeff Hayzlett joined Rob onstage to chat about the ever-changing world of New Media (we named them for you from left to right):



Here's the whole gang together, including the event's MC, Shira Lazar (third from left):



And a lot of you are sad you missed it.  A lot of you probably didn't even know you should've been in Vegas last weekend!  Don't fear!  You can watch the video here!  Fast forward to the 17:55 mark to see what might be the best thing to happen in Vegas since legalized gambling and stripper poles:

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The Adam Carolla Show

Old pals Adam Carolla and Rob Barnett got together last night to record for Adam's massively popular Podcast
"The Adam Carolla Show"

Listen to the Podcase here
The magic begins at Minute 48

 

Join the action on The Message Board here

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HOWARD STERN 420

Howard Stern Tuesday, 420, 8:30AM EST.  Nuff Said.

Here's what happened from MarksFriggin.com - scroll down to 8:40am.

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