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Tag Matches For: Heatwave

Mark Malkoff: Apple Store Challenge



Mark Malkoff's done it again.

The Apple Store.  We've all been there.  We have iPhones and iPads and iPods and MacBooks and MacBook Airs and MacBook Pros that need purchasing and servicing and updating and repair.  We need software and Genius Bars and One to One help and Workshops about Final Cut Pro.  And sometimes-- let's face it-- we just need to hang out in an air conditioned place with free internet access during a heatwave.

And those Apple Store employees, bless their hearts, never ever reprimand you for hogging that 17-inch MacBook Pro display even though everyone can see that you're just playing Words With Friends.

But what if Darth Vader needed help with his iPhone?  Would an Apple Employee just go about business as usual and ask him for his email?



Well, okay. Fine.  Sure.  Of course Darth Vader has email.  But what if Mark Malkoff ordered a pizza?  Or brought his wife in for a romantic dinner date?  Or what if he brought a GOAT into the store?  What then?



We'll let you watch the video for yourself to see what happens.  But the next time you find yourself killing time in an Apple Store pretending to check your email for 30 minutes but really just playing Angry Birds, maybe tell one of those Apple Store employees, "Thanks for being so cool, man.  May the force be with you."  And he might think you're weird, but he's probably still just gonna let you do your thing. 


Beat the Heat, Watch on Repeat

As we inch into mid-July and the gunpowder from Independence Day fireworks finally dissipates and settles on the ground like an ashy, foul-smelling snow, it comes time once again to face the fact that, like it or not, it's Summer.  For some, summer means long, lazy days spent at the beach or in the park, full of barbeques, bikinis, and melty ice cream cones.  These people are are insane madmen who are not to be trusted.  For the rest of us, summer is a time to stay indoors and near the air conditioning, cowering away from the sun like it was some kind of vengeful God.

Point is, it's hot out there.  Why not stay indoors and expand the depth and breadth of your pop culture acumen by doing a few complete-series re-watches of your favorite shows?  And sure, you could plow through your box set of 'The Sopranos' or 'The Wire' for the umpteenth time, but given the brain-boiling heat outside, wouldn't you prefer something a little more... digestible?  Might we suggest starting with Season One, Episode One of Wainy Days and working your way through the entire series?  Or Pilot Season?  Or Back on Topps?

It's easy, just pour yourself a nice cool glass of Four Loko, aim that oscillating fan at your genitals, click play, and check another one of your life's goals off the list.


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