Do you dream of the perfect body? Do you lay in bed surrounded by the detritus of your junk food addiction, fantasizing about peeling off your too-tight, slightly wet T-shirt to reveal a glistening, tanned torso sculpted to Wahlbergian perfection? Do you pine for abs so flawless that the Situation himself would throw himself under the nearest party bus at the mere sight of them? The answer, of course, is yes. We all do. And we all want it to happen RIGHT NOW.
But is it really possible to go from abpocalypse to abparadise in a mere thirty days? Well, My Damn Channel's resident sociologist/trickster god Mark Malkoff has done EXACTLY THAT, going from flab to fab in record time in this two-part video experiment.
The secret to his success? Diet, excercise, and enough hard boiled eggs to shame even Cool Hand Luke. So let Mark school you in the art of getting stupid cut and watch. Nutritionists say that clicking "play" just once can burn up to 1,200 calories.*
*(estimated)
Posted in
Celebrity Autobiography,
Don Was,
Easy to Assemble,
Illeana Douglas,
Maria with tags
Eugene Pack,
Ryan Reynolds,
Don Was,
Childrens Hospital,
Adult Swim,
Rob Corddry,
Rob Huebel,
Illeana Douglas on 7/12/2010 12:43:48 PM by
Maria
It has been so hot in New York we've been melting. So we decided to hit the road and get outta dodge. (Yes, that is redundant, but we don't care.)
First we went to New Orleans to see the Celebrity Autobiography LIVE benefit for the Gulf Coast Oil Spill Fund. Creators Eugene Pack and Dayle Reyfel brought out the big guns with Ryan Reynolds, John Goodman, Jennifer Coolidge, Mario Cantone, Bryan Batt and more, raising over $10,000!!! Check out this clip from the local NOLA morning show:
Ugh. So much happened this week and we are exhausted. We launched Celebrity Autobiography with Will Forte, Kristen Wiig and Eugene Pack. Then, you know how when you're thinking about something you suddenly see it everywhere? Well, we saw Will Forte on tv, like, a million times this week and he has seeped into our subconsciousness. We think he might actually be our new best friend. It's bad. Message to movie marketers: you win. It worked. All we can think about is going to see MacGruber this weekend.
Justin and Alden interviewed all those people and that made us tired. Grace went to that H&M thing and she was tired. Our office is moving, and everyone knows moving sucks, so everyone in the office is tired. We're Twittering and Tumblring and Tired. Are you there, god? It's me, My Damn Channel. We need a weekend, bad.
(photo above of Andy Samberg and Will Forte at the Pearl Jam concert at MSG via Village Voice Sounds of the City blog)
At My Damn Channel, we like celebrities and we like hilarious things.
And then we realized... there are CELEBRITIES who like celebrities and hilarious things. If we could get celebrities like MacGruber and SNL stars Will Forte and Kristen Wiig to read, say, the ridiculous AUTOBIOGRAPHIES of celebrities like Tommy Lee and Tiger Woods, it would probably be AWESOME.
Then we met a man named Eugene Pack and he made all of our celebrity dreams come true.
Witness the celebrity trailer now.
And we were right. It is celebrity awesome and celebrity hilarious. New celebrity episodes will be on My Damn Channel every Wednesday beginning May 19th.
Thank you. You're welcome. Celebrity.