(Intern Josh, wondering forlornly how he ended up here)
EDITOR'S NOTE: It's Josh's last day as an intern for My Damn Channel! I asked him to write up a post telling you what it was like for him this summer!
Coming into My Damn Channel as an intern I thought all I was gonna learn was how to file papers and fill out reports. Boy was I wrong! Friday will be my last day and I still haven't correctly filled out a single report. My boss is always saying that it drives him crazy how long it's taking me to get the hang of the office duties, but I can tell he's just joking. How I treasure that agonized look he gets trying so hard to hold back laughter.
What I learned though was way more valuable than any college education. I would say it was worth about $230,000, a couple hundred more than four years' tuition at Wesleyan. What I learned was the value of making the effort to gain the respect of your peers.
Before I ever set foot into that office, I had my work cut out for me. My future co-workers had already started gossiping that I only got the internship because of my family connections. After failing for three years to strike any gold, my great-great-grandfather started My Damn Channel during the California Gold Rush as a burlesque show designed to entertain entrepreneurs who had given up on trying to find gold and started companies catered to the needs of the gold miners. Grandpa Schmulie Meisel. I can't believe that was such a popular name back then โ Grandpa.
My first day at work the guy sharing my cubicle got mad at me for unplugging his computer. "What do you need a blender for?!" he irrationally snarled. "How else are you gonna make computer smoothies silly? By hand?!" I chucked his computer into my oversized blender. He must've thought I was awfully spoiled, not making my computer smoothies by hand. I really had an uphill battle ahead of me if I wanted to gain anyone's respect.
A couple of days in I got the courage to pitch a show idea to the head of development. It was a parody of "Friends" called "Friends." He looked at me like I was an idiot. "You just handed me a bunch of "Friends" scripts. I think I know now why the printer's out of ink. Look, why don't you hold off for a bit before you make any more pitches." Apparently my scripts had gone right over his head. And "Friends" was a pretty accessible show. The guy I shared my cubicle was a rube, our head of development was dense as a neutron star, and my boss was an incorrigible prankster. My situation was less than ideal to say the least.
Halfway through the summer things had only gotten worse. I was miserable. My only friend was the janitor, and he was a Roomba! I'd cry myself to sleep every night, and when I wasn't feeling that sad I would get my butler to cry me to sleep. My job was a major disappointment. It wasn't at all like that show "The Office." We had TWO guys named Dwight, and the prettiest girl wasn't dating the most handsome guy (me), but instead this guy Jim who's so inexperienced with women that when I asked him to share some girlie stories he just laughed.
All I could do was trudge along until my five weeks were up, filing away papers wherever I could cram them (I may not get the job done pretty, but I'm damn fast). And just when I had given up on ever gaining a single ounce of respect from any My Damn Channel employee, a stroke of luck bolted me right in the face.
I'll always remember it like it was yesterday, even though it was only yesterday today. Jim's girlfriend (I think her name was Xamela) told him he needed to go somewhere to sign some forms. She couldn't give him a ride because she was busy. He asked if anyone else could take him, and I shot out of my chair like I was sitting on a lit match (which for the one of the first times I wasn't). Jim didn't see me at first; his eyes scanned the room for someone to drive him but everyone pretended to be hard at work because they were too lazy to take him. Finally he saw me and said "Fine let's go Josh." And fine it was. Everyone looked up at Jim and smiled at him. Their smiles seemed to say, "I'm really happy for you that you get to go on a fun/crazy/cool ride with Josh." But the smiles had a little menace behind them that signified jealousy.
When I got back my boss laughed with mirth, patted me on the back, and said, "Good job sonny." All I ever wanted was for my boss to think of me as a son, but life isn't easy. I had to put in my time to get what I wanted โ let's just say I don't think I could've earned the luxury of being treated by my boss like his own flesh and blood if I hadn't given Jim that ride. And now, in these last couple of months before my summer ends and I have to go back to hitting the books trying to eventually earn my GED, I can look back at my time at My Damn Channel atop my pool float, computer smoothie in hand, and know that that one lesson I learned was well worth all my trifles. Plus it helped that I was making more than the rest of the office combined.
Thanks, Josh, er, Sonny! We will miss you! We know it will be tough going back to Stanford to get a world-class education, but it's better you than us!
We fully intend to continue stalking following you and your writing as @artsypriest and as a writer for The Stanford Chaparral.
PS: If any of you, dear readers, for some strange, maddening reason, would like to be an intern for My Damn Channel, please send an email to info@MyDamnChannel.com, and be sure to include links to your blog, Twitter and Tumblr accounts, or any other writing samples you might have! In the immortal words of the Jersey Shore kids in Italy, "Arrivederci, summer!"
(L-R: Mitch, Thomas, Jim)
Editor's Note: Today we have guest bloggers! The Worst Generation is our newest series and we thought it might be nice for you to get to know its stars a little more intimately, so here they are:
So, My Damn Channel wants us to do some type of blog thingy to kinda introduce ourselves to the people of the internet. Since we don't have any actual "fan mail" (or even "fans" for that matter), I've ripped off a few questions from a Justin Bieber fan site for us to answer. Answer these bad boys and any other questions you can think of to get this bad boy rollin'.
+++++++++++++++++++
If your house was on fire and you could only take one thing with you what would it be?
- Roxy, 13, Detroit
JIM: Hi Roxy. Thanks for watching. I'd probably have to grab my amazing-incredible-pornography box, a.k.a. my computer. Either that or my collection of Simpsons action figures.
THOMAS: Bauer, he's the only hope any of us have for success. And you're an idiot Jim the question clearly stated one thing that you would take and you clearly listed two.
JIM: I get nervous talking to people from Detroit. She probably just wants to steal our stuff.
MITCH: My depression pills.
Where do you get your best love advice?
- Lonely in Little Rock
MITCH: My dad once told me. "never take home the three legged dog from the pound just because you feel sorry for it." That made since when I was 9 and it still does to this day.
JIM: I've tried it all; tarot cards, gypsy palm readings, fortune cookies, magic 8 balls... and I found the best place for you to get your love advise... is from inside your heart :)
THOMAS: I just watch what Mitch does, and it teaches me exactly what NOT to do as far as love is concerned.
If you could have dinner with 3 people, dead or alive, who would it be?
THOMAS: I don't really care as long as those three people are buying. And it better be some gourmet shit, if I have to go listen to three other people bore me to death I don't want to do it over a Big Mac and fries.
MITCH: Bo Jackson, The Pope, and Dennis Rodman
JIM: Wow Mitch, what are the odds of the Pope even responding to that evite? I'm going with Jenna Jameson, Pamela Anderson and Angelina Jolie. In their primes. Next question.
How does it feel to be mobbed by screaming girls?
JIM: You get used to it.
THOMAS: Feels normal, they've been doing it my whole life.
MITCH: Sometimes, I don't feel worthy of it all. Other times, it gets annoying having to hear all the jibber-jabber that comes along with it.
Describe your dream girl.
MITCH: I hear your dream girl is actually a version of your mother. So probably an annoying old bitch.
JIM: My dream girl is funny, smart, nice smile, pretty eyes, caring of others, and got an ass so big you can see it from the front.
THOMAS: Depends on my mood. And the season.
What would a fan have to do to date you?
THOMAS: Tell me their daddy was Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, Jerry Bruckheimer or any such type of person, so that I can leave these clowns of TWG behind and get started on my life doing something that is actually worth a shit.
JIM: Be 18 years old and have a vagina. A trust fund wouldn't hurt either.
MITCH: Have you ever heard of a ballcuzzi?
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
JIM: Hopefully off of unemployment and out of my parents' basement.
MITCH: Cute cottage near the sea with roommates that make me breakfast and flush the toilet once in a while... or unemployed in my parents basement.
THOMAS: Dating Spielberg's daughter.
How do you deal with all the haters out there?
MITCH: I always carry a butterfly knife I got in Baja. Can't hate when you're getting stabbed.
THOMAS: In the words of Tupac: " Fuck it. I feel like I shine. And I don't give a fuck how many white people, the Media, black people, playa haters, police, whoever, try to darken my shine, Im'a always shine through. "
JIM: Uhhhhh wait what?
What would you do if all the fame went away tomorrow?
JIM: If all of this fame was suddenly taken away from me, I'd probably blow my head off.
MITCH: It would be a long way to fall, but I'm sure I could still pull ass so who cares.
THOMAS: Be excited that I'd never have to answer stupid questions like these again. Is this really what you want us to do Jimmy? Whataya' stupid or something?
How would you describe your style?
THOMAS: Lazy
JIM: Oh I dunno, maybe rural-chic with an urban twist.
MITCH: Commando, Ballistic, and Fresh.
How do you maintain such a hot body?
THOMAS: Layers and no AC.
MITCH: Commitment to Excellence.
JIM: More like commitment to purging after every meal. I usually lift like 8 hours a day, 6 days a week.
Editor: Uh, thanks, guys! We'll all be watching you and Bauer every Tuesday at www.MyDamnChannel.com/TheWorstGeneration! And following you on Twitter at @TheWorstGen! And on Facebook at Facebook.com/TheWorstGeneration!
Otherwise we'll be avoiding Mitch and his butterfly knife.
Posted in
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Daily Grace,
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Daniel Radcliffe,
Emma Watson,
Movies,
Celebrities,
Hollywood,
Film,
Cosplay on 7/15/2011 9:53:33 AM by Matt Warren
A young George Costanza?
Maybe you've seen the ads on billboards, in bus shelters, or projected onto the insides of your eyelids. Maybe you've seen Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, or the Other One making the rounds on the talk show circuit. Or maybe you need only to consult your very own "Mug Life" abdomen tattoo to be reminded that today--yes, today!--marks the release of the final Harry Potter movie, Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, Part Two: Stagnetti's Revenge.
Yes, after a decade's worth of yeoman-like service at the multiplex, it's finally come time for this iteration of Harry Potter to power down, be put out to stud, and other such mixed metaphors. It's a bittersweet day for fans, but hopefully the release of the final film in the franchise will at least provide the answers to some longstanding mysteries, like "What's the deal with the smoke monster?", "Whatever happened to that Russian Paulie and Christopher let escape into the pine barrens?" and "So did A and X meet at this place last year, or what?"
Okay, so maybe I don't know anything about the Harry Potter franchise. But our very own Daily Grace does...
And today, she bids a tearful adieu to the Boy Who Lived. But if you want to avoid the waterworks, you can check in on Ms. Helbig in happier times, watching Part 1 of Deathly Hallows, or over on her Tumblr, wherein she ups her Hogwarts cosplay game considerably.
(*Actual product will most likely look nothing like this. Also, wings not included.)
Lately, My Damn Channel swag has been flying off the shelves and onto people's bodies at an alarming rate. It seems like everyone wants a new T-shirt in their hands (or on their torso, at least.) After all, who wouldn't want a slice of pie from the larger bakery that is the world of My Damn Channel paraphernalia?
Take My Damn Channel viewser JustNeph... please! When we asked folks to tweet at us with the phrase "I want #MyDamnPen!" Neph responded. And we didn't let his plea fall on deaf ears, hooking him up with not one but TWO My Damn Channel pens, and a MY DAMN CHANNEL STICKER.
And here's our pal Dom Galati donning a sharp new My Damn Channel tee...
And if you want your very own My Damn Channel shirt, you can follow Rocky Rector's example and be the one this week to get the most friends to sign up for our ongoing Versailles sweepstakes. Additional info is here.
Go ahead and sign yourself up, while you're at it. Winner gets a free trip for two to L.A. to meet Versailles (watch it!) co-stars and creators Patricia Heaton and David Hunt. There's only one week left to enter, so if you need to, now would be a good time to buy a working mouse.
Posted in
Andy Milonakis,
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Josh Gad,
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420,
My Damn Channel,
Andy Milonakis,
pot,
smoke,
high,
Horrible People,
Gigi,
Almost American,
Josh Gad,
A.D. Miles,
Jimmy Fallon on 4/20/2011 8:34:30 AM by DannyMoney
Holla at ya boy DannyMoney, ladies and gents: it's 420 and you know what that means!
So I'm assuming some of y'all will be getting a little silly today? A little goofy? High as a kite? Well if you are, My Damn Channel has a whole bunch of videos - well, the entire site, really! - that'll get you laughing on this special day that comes but once a year (just because YOU celebrate every day doesn't mean it's 420 year round!). Here are a few of my favs:
- Not only is today 420, but a new episode of Gigi: Almost American premiered, which you can watch RIGHT HERE. I love me some pig dog!
- HERE'S a wacky video from the master, Andy Milonakis. It never fails to crack me up, mostly because it's so damn idiotic, which I consider possibly the HIGHEST compliment I can give.
- And while you're at it, why not watch the entire 10 episode series of Horrible People. Sit back and let it ride! This is seriously one of the funniest shows I've ever seen. Probably due to the fact that it was written and directed by A.D. Miles, currently the head writer on The Jimmy Fallon Show.
Word up!
Posted in
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trey parker,
jon stewart,
comedy central,
book of mormon,
broadway,
musical,
south park on 3/11/2011 8:01:13 AM by Dubs
Holy snaps! Check out our boy, Josh Gad - star of our upcoming series Gigi: Almost American, "on" The Daily Show last night! Okay, so Matt and Trey from South Park were really the guests; there to talk about their new Broadway musical The Book Of Mormon. But Josh was about as on as you can be without being there in person (check him out behind Matt and Trey, singing like a champ). Plus he's been on The Daily Show as a correspondent so no need to split hairs here anyway.
Matt and Trey got some pretty high praise from their Comedy Central counterpart. I won't spoil what Mr. Jon Stewart had to say, you can check it out for yourself. Actually, you need to hear it for yourself because it'd probably sound like I was making it up if I told you because when I say "high praise", I mean it was downright biblical (pun intended, suckas!).
Episodes of Gigi: Almost American launch 3/23, but you can get your fix now with the trailer and promos NOW.
Check out our boy Rob with Fred Amisen at IFC's Q&A at the Apple Store Soho.
Fred and his musician-turned-comedianne counterpart Carrie Brownstein were there discussing their new hit show Portlandia (Fri. 10:30pm. IFC) which is garnering rave reviews from just about everyone - even the Harvard Business Review.
Weird, huh? I mean, not weird that it's getting rave reviews from everyone but weird that Harvard would--you know what I mean. Just read it.
That new Harry Shearer video, Deaf Boys, premiered today. And the worst part of it, the VERY WORST PART of it, is that the song has been stuck in my head ALL. WEEK. LONG. I catch myself humming it at odd times of day, and when someone asks me what I'm singing I get so freaked out that I LIE ABOUT IT. I mean, it's about the Catholic Church scandal...and priests and young boys...and I don't need anyone to think I'm weirder than they already do, so I LIE ABOUT THE SONG.
It's pretty much like Harry Shearer made me sin. So, I start thinking I should go to confession, right? Ask for forgiveness and all? But "confession" just reminds me of that song by Usher: the one that's all about Chili from TLC, but Usher keeps saying it isn't? So, now, because of Harry Shearer's Deaf Boys I have that stupid Usher song in my head. And for that, Harry Shearer, I don't know if I can forgive you.
Posted in
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Harry Shearer,
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New Orleans,
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Le Show,
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NPR,
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Deaf Boys,
My Damn Channel on 5/25/2010 5:44:59 AM by Rob Barnett
'On assignment' in New Orleans for My Damn Channel.
If you're a resident here, you have our maximum respect and thanks for giving the rest of us one of the most magical places on earth. If you've visited, keep coming back. If you've never been...make it happen captain. You'll find warm souls, inspired sounds, the finest food, drink, fun and good times you can experience.
We lead with laffs at My Damn Channel. But there's more than comedy beneath your fingertips. This is why Harry Shearer was the first artist we asked to trust us to let him reach you without one drop of Hollywood execu-nonsense in the way.
Harry has lived in New Orleans for over a decade, shuttling from here to
LA and the rest of his working world. From The Simpsons, to Spinal Tap, to SNL, to Le Show on NPR, Huffington Post, comedy albums, music, music videos, and more - Harry Shearer is an artist who never stops creating, entertaining, living and giving.
Harry has created many of the most-viewed, most-talked about videos on My Damn Channel. He has two projects in the works that you'll see next.
On June 4th, you'll see "Deaf Boys." Here's a sneak preview along with a note about the original song and short film to come.
This August, Harry will release a documentary feature film he's directed about the city he loves. "The Big UnEasy" opens on the 5th anniversary of Katrina to tell the story about the un-natural disaster that nearly destroyed New Orleans. The film details why the levees broke, why the city is still in danger, and why Congress and The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers is putting more cities like New Orleans at risk.
Harry will share news and videos about the making of his film over the summer. We presented a series of videos back in 2007, on the 2nd anniversary of Katrina called "Crescent City Stories."
http://www.MyDamnChannel.com/HarryShearer
http://twitter.com/letwits
http://www.HarryShearer.com
On Valentine's Day, a bunch of folks from the My Damn Channel family went on a special date with our favorite gal pals, GraceNMichelle.
Pictured above left: (L-R) Kevin Flynn ("Puca"), Joshua Nicholson ("MRJOTZ"), Anthony Willingham ("Calvin Bentington"), KT Pierce ("Harvey Potato"/"ktgilead"), and James Dunne ("smokybanjo").
All other pictures: Grace Helbig (from My Damn Channel's Daily Grace) and Michelle Vargas nerding it up at The People's Imrpov Theater during their Valentine's Day comedy sketch show: 2 Girls 1 CUPid.
Not pictured, our twitter/facebook lady, Armeni Kamciyan, also came down to watch the girls shake their booties and put on a performance to steal (and eventually melt) all of our evil/cold hearts.
Just in case you missed the news, Puca and Smokybanjo flew all the way from Ireland to meet everyone and they had no idea what they were in for at Sunday night's show.
They sat in their seats, innocently watching while the girls paraded
around on stage drooling over their fictitious love interests, "Ross
and Ryan" - who, consequently, ended up being the lucky Puca &
Smokybanjo. They didn't even have to worry about memorizing any lines
to play the part - they were handed tiny pieces of paper (shaped like
little red hearts). It went something like this:
Grace: Do you love us?
Ross & Ryan: No.
Michelle: Why don't you love us?
Ross & Ryan: Because we love each other!
(The crowd roars with laughter)
That was a tough one to make the boys say out loud...
Keep up with GraceNMichelle, and maybe you'll bump into one of us at their next show...
gracenmichelle.tumblr.com
twitter.com/gracenmichelle