Here Comes the Bride

If you woke up this morning with an extra spring in your step and a little bit of a glow about you, fear not.  It's not a brain tumor (probably)—you're just basking in the glorious psychic afterglow of the Royal Wedding!  I mean, like, OMG, right?

Yes, there's nothing more romantic than a photogenic young commoner being hand-selected by the Illuminati and served up on a silver platter for review and approval by the future king's cadre of clucking, hunchbacked toadies as they strum lutes and swill peasants' blood from pewter goblets.  At least that's how I presume it works.  I don't know.  I'm an American.

But regardless, My Damn Channel is using this opportunity to "say yes to the dress" and provide you with one each of the following:

Something old...

The first ever episode of 'You Suck at Photoshop.'

Something new...

The latest trailer for the new series 'Versailles,' starring Patricia Heaton.

Something borrowed...

Not ours, but still hilarious: a break dancer kicks a baby in the face.

And something blue...

Andy Milonakis's 'Red Blue.'  That works, I guess.

So say "I do" to these videos or forever hold your peace.  Also, don't forget to send the happy young couple something nice.  I'm pretty sure they're registered at Pottery Barn.

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"Touch My Junk" for Kids

In case you haven't heard, the TSA is now giving pat-downs to six-year-olds.  And while we admire the TSA's consistency, we can't help but wonder if this is one of those times when common sense could have prevailed and an exception perhaps been made.  I'm guessing the biggest threat poised by the girl in the video is the possibility of getting roped into a hyperactive, one-sided conversation about Justin Beiber.  God, kids will not SHUT UP about that guy.

Nevertheless, maybe instead of wasting their time with Journey, the kids of PS22 should brace themselves for the realities of modern air travel and instead do a cover of Harry Shearer's "Touch My Junk."  In fact, I can't think of one single reason why this might be a bad idea.  Oh wait, I just thought of about five-hundred.  Never mind.

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A Jim-Miracle!

Scarlett Johansson.  Jessica Biel.  Emily Blunt.  Rebecca Romijn.  January Jones.  Ana Faris.  Zoe Saldana.  Amanda Seyfried.  Erin Andrews.  Heidi Klum.  Kristen Bell.  Marisa Miller.  Neil Patrick Harris.

What do all these people have in common?  They're the top actresses working in movies and TV today.  What else do they have in common?  They all star in the new Jimmy Kimmel video, The Hottie Body Jim-Miracle Diet.  Is it good?  Foolish question.  Why?  Cuz it's great.  I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats.  Jimmy does it again -- do you think he topped himself this time?

And while we're speaking of HOTTIES, and it's St. Patrick's Day, why not mention one of the all-time classic hotties, Maureen O'Hara.

Now go get a Guinness!

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SOCO MUSIC EXPERIENCE

Just back east coast & off the plane from our LA & San Diego shoots for My Damn Channel Music Nights presented by SoCo.

Yesterday was the all-day & til-Midnight SoCo Music Experience concert outdoors in San Diego.

(PHOTOS TO FOLLOW as soon as i get a lil schleepeee)

Props, respect & all terms of goodness to our sponsors, our hosts, the production team, our crew, our staff, all the musicians & the extra beautiful & fun-loving humans that made up a crowd that had to hit near 10,000 or more by the time we got to the headliners last night.

The SoCo Music Experience is touring the country with a festival that features live music outdoors, adult beverages, food, tents, games, and overall....a sexy good time.

Common headlined an impressive, eclectic line-up that went from hip hop to rock with The Black Keys, and then to uncategorizable, extremely funky, multi-flavored sets from Kinky and Saul Williams too. Slammin'.

Two stages all day - also featuring: Grand Ole Party, MC Flow, Shark Attack, The Silent Comedy, Buddy Akai, The Burning of Rome, & Lady Dottie and the Diamonds.

Grace was interviewing bands & the fans all day & all night, covering the scene.

Maria was running the My Damn Channel tent where we had way too much fun bonding with da fans - and giving away freebies including the ultra-rare YOU SUCK AT PHOTOSHOP tee-shirts, new My Damn Channel pins, and My Damn Channel TATTOOS.

We filmed all day for a new pilot series in development. The working title is: "LISTEN, KISS, MEDITATE." In a world with WAY too much noize - we're creating a new web series WITHOUT SOUND. Picture people from every walk o' life - doing three things that bring you one step further away from the madness & one step closer to SOUL. We filmed fans listening to music, kissing (passionately), and meditating. It's off the edit room to see if we're onto something great......or not.

Next SoCo Music Experience event....Madison, WI on 9/6 & we'll be at the Experience show in Albany, NY on 9/13!

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FACE

They've got a new blog app in early launch mode. "The Night Feed" is there.

We're also putting all of this week's Southern California, Southern Comfort event details there.

Flying west this week to film "My Damn Channel Music Nights" in LA on the Sunset Strip during the week & down to San Diego this Saturday for the all-day/all-night SoCo Music Experience with Common, The Black Keys & about 10 other bands - our cameras, free tattoos, tee-shirts, Grace, Maria, Paul, Robert, Victoria, our crew, our cameras & your face on new programming we're filming now.

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CELEBRATING OURSELVES

MY DAMN CHANNEL CELEBRATES ITSELF

First Birthday Stats and ‘Terrible Two’ Plans Revealed

NEW YORK, July 31, 2008 - My Damn Channel (www.MyDamnChannel.com), the entertainment studio and new media platform, today celebrates its first birthday by revealing year one statistics on traffic and revenue, and announcing new community features and a full development slate.

My Damn Channel has built a brand that empowers professional filmmakers, actors, comedians, musicians, and athletes to co-produce, mass distribute and monetize original, short-form video.

My Damn Channel has produced over 325 original videos viewed over 29 million times in the past year. The company created a studio, a destination site, syndication network, and branded entertainment exchange to match advertisers with top talent who deliver high-quality, episodic content.  

Today, the channel celebrates itself and the first 9 channels co-created with Harry Shearer, David Wain, Big Fat Brain, Don Was, A.D. Miles, Andy Milonakis, Grace Helbig, Steve Kerper, and Coolio.  

Watch our Birthday Meltdown

Watch 07-08-Oh-No

Twenty-two original series have featured over 120 professional artists including Ozzy Osbourne, Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill, Rob Corddry, Janeane Garofalo, Kristen Schaal, and Elizabeth Banks.    

My Damn Channel currently reaches over one million unique viewers monthly. Major brands including Lincoln, Universal Pictures, Lionsgate, Southern Comfort, Puma, and HBO have signed on. Revenue is pacing to exceed $1 million by year’s end.

A low-cost model eliminates multi-layered management tiers found in traditional media and puts artists in direct contact with their fans. My Damn Channel founder and CEO Rob Barnett said, “Our team and our talent are inspired by cynics who say you can’t build a brand and create the traffic and revenue needed to succeed with original video. Our birthday blood sugar rush is strong enough to keep us laughing and beating projections in year two.”     

A new syndication deal has just been signed with a major portal and will be announced and launched in August. New community features on the destination site include video alerts via email for premieres and featured clips; customizable profiles; friending; and favorites.

The development slate of new My Damn Channel programming includes:

•    “Pilot Channel” (working title) – content creators get full access to the company’s branding, technology, community, syndication, promotion, and revenue. Advertisers bid to sponsor new series through a branded entertainment exchange that guarantees placement and distribution throughout our network.                             
    
•    “Lapdance with Kurt Loder: Saving The World One Interview at a Time” – Author, journalist, MTV anchor, movie writer and former Rolling Stone senior editor Kurt Loder interviews filmmakers, musicians and anyone else who’s around, anywhere in the world, via iChat.  The first episode with Harry Shearer premieres in August.

•    New Big Fat Brain series – the creators of “You Suck at Photoshop” will “tweak the geeks” once again.

•    “Face Time presented by Puma” – athletes and musicians interview each other to find out where they get their inspiration.  Three 6 Mafia and Terrell Owens star in the channel’s first sports series.

•    “My Damn Channel Music Nights presented by SoCo” – Grace Helbig, host of the channel’s “Daily Grace” hits the highway this summer with Southern Comfort for 12 weeks of programming starring fans and artists including Common, The Black Keys, and The Roots, filming in NY, CA, AZ, and WI.

•    Harry Shearer – the Sultan of political satire has just released a new album, “Songs of the Bushmen.” New videos from the album include “Turd Blossom Special” (Shearer as Karl Rove) and “Gym Buds” (Judith Owen as Condeleeza Rice). Shearer continues to produce “Found Objects,” featuring news anchors and newsmakers in unscripted moments captured on film.

•    Don Was – the creator and host of My Damn Channel’s Wasmopolitan Cavalcade of Recorded Music is producing a second season of all new music. Don and his Cavalcade just filmed over 55 musicians live in Detroit at the “Concert of Colors” diversity festival.


About My Damn Channel

My Damn Channel is an entertainment studio and new media platform created to empower professional filmmakers, actors, comedians, musicians and athletes to co-produce, distribute and monetize original, episodic video. Artists create programming for the My Damn Channel site and for syndication on today's most heavily-trafficked online communities and social networks. My Damn Channel delivers creative control, funding, distribution, and revenue to co-conspirators including Big Fat Brain, Coolio, Grace Helbig, Steve Kerper, A.D. Miles, Andy Milonakis, Harry Shearer, David Wain and Don Was. The company is supported by an advertising revenue model, and by licensing the studio's entire portfolio of content across all forms of digital distribution.

Media Contact:
Maria Diokno
866.424.8864
Maria@MyDamnChannel.com
 

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DONNIE & SNATCH: da CLIFFHANGER

The X Files
Lost
Friends
Star Trek
The Sopranos
The Fugitive
Seinfeld
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Six Feet Under
Twin Peaks
Arrested Development

just a few of the biggest finales ever - that all have one thing in common:

they've got absolutely nothing to do with the Season Finale of Sn4tchbuck13r's Second Chance & the unfolding mystery about the return of Donnie Hoyle & YOU SUCK AT PHOTOSHOP

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MY DAMN CHANNEL IN TODAY'S SUNDAY NEW YORK POST

THE NEXT BROADCAST

by Ben Goldstein



March 2, 2008 -- Web entertainment enters prime time, as Internet networks start modeling themselves on real-world broadcastersBY THE TIME you finish reading this sentence, a 15-year-old mall-punk in central Michigan will have clicked on a YouTube video, gotten bored within seconds, and then clicked on another. It's that kind of insatiable thirst for the next bright, shiny Web-thing that's both fueling and challenging an emerging wave of Internet TV networks.



But for these rapidly multiplying entertainment sites that present original videos, usually released on a consistent schedule, it's also their greatest hope. Because although the audience that looks online for entertainment is fickle to the point of brutality, maybe their attention spans are so short because nobody has given them what they want yet.



Two weeks ago, actor-comedian Damon Wayans became the latest high-profile figure to throw his talent behind the still relatively unproven medium of Internet television, as he announced the impending debut of WayOutTV.com. The site will feature sketch comedy bearing the trademark Wayans Family mix of oddball pop-culture parody and provocative social commentary. Though an official launch date hasn't been established, samples are being released weekly at YouTube.com/WayOutTV.

"There is no urban destination online," Wayans says. "Everybody uses YouTube, but you have to dig deep and for a long time to find something that satisfies you. With WayOut, I'm the filter. I'm creating a brand of comedy as opposed to letting everybody just put up whatever they want."Though the comedian admits that building a Web site's infrastructure is new to him, he sounds like a veteran 'Net-geek when he talks about his big ideas, which include using WayOutTV to create viral ads for corporations, and focusing on content for mobile phones.



He'll need those forward-thinking concepts if WayOutTV is going to succeed.



As the Will Ferrell-backed FunnyorDie.com proved, it takes more than a big name to hold the eyes of an online populace in constant search of novelty. Pulling in about 2 million unique viewers per month, FunnyorDie may be a traffic success compared to other top-notch comedy destinations like SuperDeluxe and MyDamnChannel, but after drawing 4.5 million visitors during its April launch, FoD's numbers crashed and have yet to recover.Besides the fact that the site's videos lacked a predictable TV-like schedule, another reason for FunnyOrDie's somewhat disappointing performance could be its insular nature. The old model was to guard your content vigilantly so that it wouldn't fall into the hands of other video-sharing sites, where you wouldn't benefit from the traffic. (If you want to see Will Ferrell have an argument with a foul-mouthed toddler, you have to come here.)



This may have been a mistake.



New networks are distributing their content all over the Web rather than confining it to a single site, but they're doing so in a controlled way so artists' rights are protected. 60Frames.com, which launched its first series in January, follows a studio model in which professional artists are given resources to create videos that are syndicated to sites like YouTube and MySpace.



Shows produced by 60Frames include "WhoWhatWearTV," which has been theNo. 1-ranked fashion/beauty video podcast on iTunes since its debut, and the hilarious Jersey Shore-lampooning "Douchebag Beach" series."We knew there were a lot of talented artists who wanted to work in this space, but they didn't want to just upload their content to the 'Net without any support, or sell their ideas to media companies where they would be forced to give up ownership and control," says 60Frames CEO Brent Weinstein, who previously led United Talent Agency's digital media department. "When we hear an idea that's a good match for our company, we get behind it as quickly as we can, and once we're in business with artists, we give them quite a bit of free reign. We're the most artist-friendly option in the marketplace."



Of course, you might consider bypassing artists altogether.

A totally different (and more conventional) model for Internet TV is exemplified by Joost, a five-month-old service that presents more than 20,000 shows plucked from "real" TV networks such as Comedy Central and A&E. Original programming is a potential goal for the future, but Joost's main focus is on acquiring rights to existing programming and presenting it all in one place for free.But are more channels what people want?Though more than 5 million people have downloaded the Joost software to date, the company's North American GM, David Clark, says that the biggest challenge in running Joost is "helping people find what they are interested in.

"All of a sudden, that "filter" thing that Damon Wayans mentioned is starting to make sense. If you're lost in an abyss of options that aren't directly aimed at you, maybe you're in the wrong place. And Rob Barnett, CEO of MyDamnChannel, is even more critical of the repurposing strategy.

"I think there's a lot of cynicism in this attitude of, 'The kids are watching all this YouTube stuff, so let's go make another buck off the s - - - we already have,' " Barnett says. "It's rehashed, retreaded content that was made for a different medium. I'd rather say, 'Hey, let's blow their minds and give them something they haven't seen before.' "

Barnett managed programming and production divisions at MTV and VH1 for more than a decade before launching MyDamnChannel in July of last year. The site had 1 million unique users in January, and when we spoke with him, it was having its biggest traffic day ever thanks to a Harry Shearer-produced clip that showed candid footage of Ann Coulter and Bill O'Reilly during moments they didn't know cameras were rolling.

Less is certainly more at MyDamnChannel. Instead of a mass of individual videos that require searching, MDC presents eight highly produced channels, created by artists ranging from Harry Shearer to Coolio, which release a new episode every week. It's about as close to an actual TV network as you'll find on the Web, right down to the consistent scheduling, and it runs proudly against the grain of the user-generated content approach (which ManiaTV.com CEO Peter Hoskins colorfully refers to as "loser-generated content").

Like Wayans, Barnett realizes the importance of submitting to a higher power (i.e., YouTube) for exposure and distribution."If you just drop [your content] onto the Internet, you're in the biggest ocean in the planet, and you're lost," Barnett says.

Words of warning for the glut of new comedy-based Internet TV networks trying to follow the throw-it-all-at-the-wall approach set by FunnyorDie. Recent months have seen the launch of MyBlueCollar.com (Jeff Foxworthy's comedy site), NationalBanana.com (Jerry Zucker's comedy site), and the brand-new Comedy.com (Former UPN President Dean Valentine's comedy site). We don't necessarily recommend you visit any of them.Even though the trend is toward outrageous humor, not every Internet TV network goes for belly laughs. One of the most interesting new models is the development of a group of sites or channels that have nothing to do with one another, but are produced with the same aesthetic.

ONNetworks.com presents more than 20 do-it-yourself cooking, decorating, and green-living instructional shows aimed at the young and hip. The sites launched by the year-old NextNewNetworks.com, which is also led by former cable TV execs, have provided definitive destinations for everyone from vintage Corvette enthusiasts (VetteDog.com), to jewelry designers (MetalChik.com), to people who just like cute pets (UltraKawaii.com).

But there's one thing all these sites have in common: They won't ask you to pay a single dime for your entertainment.

With so much content already free on the Web, those who launch Internet TV networks know they have to be a little more creative when it comes to finding revenue streams. Hence, syndication deals, embedded ads, corporate brands integrated into programming and DVD releases.

Ultimately, Damon Wayans places his trust in the opportunity of the unknown that the online wilderness can be tamed and the pioneers of Web TV can eventually learn how to turn a profit.

"I personally feel that the Internet is what cable was 30 years ago," Wayans says. "It's like clay. Whatever you decide to make it, that's what it will become."

Channel guide: SURFING THROUGH the best of web tv

vbs.tv

Concept: Hipster entertainment from the minds that brought you Vice Magazine.

Best Show: "Shot by Kern" gives viewers insight into the artistic process of New York-based erotic photographer Richard Kern and the thought process of his models.

Also Watch: "The Vice Guide to Travel," "Epicly Later'd"

Schedule: More than 30 series are currently in rotation and are usually updated weekly.

NextNewNetworks.com

Concept: An umbrella group of micro-networks aimed at various niche interests.

Best Channel: IndyMogul.com, resources and moral support for DIY filmmakers.

Also Watch: ThreadBanger.com (fashion coverage with a punk rock 'tude), ChannelFrederator.com (animated comedy featuring Dan Meth's brilliant "The Meth Minute 39" series)

Schedule: Generally in the video blog format, each of NNN's subnetworks are on their own schedules, with daily or weekly updates.

SuperDeluxe.com

Concept: Boundary-pushing alt-comedy videos and social networking.

Best Show: "The Professor Brothers," wherein two bald, pompous community college lecturers try to make sense of the world.

Also Watch: "All My Exes," Norm MacDonald's "The Fake News"

MyDamnChannel.com

Concept: An Internet entertainment studio focusing on eight professional-quality channels produced by well-known artists.

Best Show: In "Wainy Days," writer/director/ex-State member David Wain repeatedly and hilariously fails to find his soul mate.

Also Watch: "Horrible People," "Big Fat Brain"

Schedule:

Monday: new episodes of Wainy Days, Horrible People

Tuesday: Harry Shearer

Wednesday: Andy Milonakis, Cookin' With Coolio

Thursday: Don Was, Carnival of Stuff

Friday: "Big Fat Brain"

ONNetworks.com

Concept: Unconventional instructional shows for a range of interests, all produced in HD.

Best Show: "Dinner with the Band," in which chef Sam Mason hosts his favorite bands for an evening of cooking, conversation, and live performance.

Also Watch: "Backpack Picnic," "Stump the Chef"

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THURSDAYS (NOT THURSDAYS)

(Averitt/Barnett/Was)

You can tell by the title I'm just not getting enough 07/08 sleep. Pathetic. But heading to 'church' tonight for kickoff of the next leg of the Springsteen tour. That & today's 2 new videos will keep me vertical. Every Thursday Don Was presents NEW music recorded & produced for you free of charge. Grab the MP3's & steal the music videos with thanks to a generous grant from our friends at LINCOLN. Today's new music premiere is just what the doctor ordered - reggae rock from the band COMMON SENSE. Their first My Damn Channel video is called "STRANGE ONE."



The band is based in a very important town for our new media mission - LAGUNA BEACH, CA. It's homebase for Okapi Ventures where Marc Averitt is a lead backer & board member at My Damn Channel. Surf's most definitely UP.

If comedy's your Thursday calling - head to one of newest channels: CARNIVAL of STUFF. Steve Kerper & the mighty men at Asterisk present our first animated series: "INVASION" - episode 3 - SQUIRRELS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN:

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VIDEO PREMIERES WEEK OF 2/25

Monday 2/25:

HORRIBLE PEOPLE - episode 3 - the evil soap opera continues

Tuesday 2/26:

HARRY SHEARER's FOUND OBJECTS - BILL O'REILLY / ANN COULTER / KATIE COURIC.

(O'Reilly is too beautiful for words. Coulter has an ugly addiction. We still love Katie.)

Wednesday 2/27: COOKIN' with COOLIO - episode 3

ANDY MILONAKIS presents ANDY MILONAKIS

Thursday 2/28:

CARNIVAL of STUFF presents INVASION - episode 3

DON WAS presents NEW MUSIC from the LA SKA BAND, COMMON SENSE

Friday 2/29:

BIG FAT BRAIN presents "YOU SUCK AT PHOTOSHOP" - episode 8 (it's comin - it's comin)

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