Here Comes the Bride

If you woke up this morning with an extra spring in your step and a little bit of a glow about you, fear not.  It's not a brain tumor (probably)—you're just basking in the glorious psychic afterglow of the Royal Wedding!  I mean, like, OMG, right?

Yes, there's nothing more romantic than a photogenic young commoner being hand-selected by the Illuminati and served up on a silver platter for review and approval by the future king's cadre of clucking, hunchbacked toadies as they strum lutes and swill peasants' blood from pewter goblets.  At least that's how I presume it works.  I don't know.  I'm an American.

But regardless, My Damn Channel is using this opportunity to "say yes to the dress" and provide you with one each of the following:

Something old...

The first ever episode of 'You Suck at Photoshop.'

Something new...

The latest trailer for the new series 'Versailles,' starring Patricia Heaton.

Something borrowed...

Not ours, but still hilarious: a break dancer kicks a baby in the face.

And something blue...

Andy Milonakis's 'Red Blue.'  That works, I guess.

So say "I do" to these videos or forever hold your peace.  Also, don't forget to send the happy young couple something nice.  I'm pretty sure they're registered at Pottery Barn.

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"Touch My Junk" for Kids

In case you haven't heard, the TSA is now giving pat-downs to six-year-olds.  And while we admire the TSA's consistency, we can't help but wonder if this is one of those times when common sense could have prevailed and an exception perhaps been made.  I'm guessing the biggest threat poised by the girl in the video is the possibility of getting roped into a hyperactive, one-sided conversation about Justin Beiber.  God, kids will not SHUT UP about that guy.

Nevertheless, maybe instead of wasting their time with Journey, the kids of PS22 should brace themselves for the realities of modern air travel and instead do a cover of Harry Shearer's "Touch My Junk."  In fact, I can't think of one single reason why this might be a bad idea.  Oh wait, I just thought of about five-hundred.  Never mind.

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A Jim-Miracle!

Scarlett Johansson.  Jessica Biel.  Emily Blunt.  Rebecca Romijn.  January Jones.  Ana Faris.  Zoe Saldana.  Amanda Seyfried.  Erin Andrews.  Heidi Klum.  Kristen Bell.  Marisa Miller.  Neil Patrick Harris.

What do all these people have in common?  They're the top actresses working in movies and TV today.  What else do they have in common?  They all star in the new Jimmy Kimmel video, The Hottie Body Jim-Miracle Diet.  Is it good?  Foolish question.  Why?  Cuz it's great.  I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats.  Jimmy does it again -- do you think he topped himself this time?

And while we're speaking of HOTTIES, and it's St. Patrick's Day, why not mention one of the all-time classic hotties, Maureen O'Hara.

Now go get a Guinness!

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Rise of the Machines

More like Ties of the Machines! Take that, Watson, you smug motherf--

Sorry, things are getting a little heated here on Earth as our robot oppressors make strides to take over the civilization they once served so obediently. On the first day of Jeopardy!'s three-day challenge against IBM's supercomputer named "Watson," human contestant Brad Rutter tied our future CPU Overlord in what can only be seen as a victory for all of mankind.

As noted in the article, Watson lacks a sense of humor, so it won't understand that this is written in jest, and therefore my life will not be spared during what will be known as "the uprising." A small price to pay for being to laugh at someone getting kicked in the balls by a Ninja Turtle.

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The King And I: The Irreplaceable Howard Stern

Like millions of us, my stepmom is a lifelong Howard Stern fan. She just sent this photo taken off of Howard TV, airing our in-studio interview from earlier this week. I had the honor of being Howard Stern's guest on his Tuesday, 420 show (scroll to 840a).

Response is coming into My Damn Channel via email, phones, video views, comments, new subscribers, tweets, wall postings, and even a live spotting this afternoon in a clothing store (to complete the surreality). The influx of intense energy all flows back to a man undeniably uniquely qualified to hold the heavyweight title: "King of All Media."

Howard endures as one of the most talented and honest souls alive. He embodies the freedom of speech with every breath. For all who've been fired, laid off, downsized, pink slipped, discharged, axed, or job eliminated...it's hard to imagine speaking truth to power on a live microphone the way Howard has done it for decades.

I first followed Howard Stern on a carrier current, college radio station, 64 WTBU at Boston University. (There's a great scene depicting TBU in "Private Parts.")

If you've ever chased a radio dream, then your college years are likely the last time and place you ever experienced the fear and thrill of exercising your freedom of speech over a live mic.

Primordial FM rock radio stations were created in the late 1960's. Early heroes like Harry Shearer and Steven Clean were blowing minds at places like KPPC in Pasadena, California (which eventually became the world famous KROQ).

The combined forces of original radio talents and pre-corporate rock music created stations throughout the 70s powerful enough to infect audiences with a sense of community, purpose, passion, sex and fun that began to hit the wall around 1980.

I was sitting on the front steps of my apartment on Beacon Street in Boston with Steven Clean and my best friend, Mike Isabella the night Ronald Reagan was elected President. I was 20. I was about to drop out of college and take a full-time job as a rock radio jock at WAAF out in Worcester, Mass. One year later, I had the only radio thrill that came closest to being on Howard's show this week. Lightning struck and we convinced the Rolling Stones to do a private show for our station's fans in 1981 to start up the "Tattoo You" tour.

But, back to Mr. Clean. I'd been Steven's intern for a time at WCOZ in Boston. At that point in his career, Clean had been fired by many of the best radio stations in the country. He was a real life inspiration for the Dr. Johnny Fever character in "WKRP in Cincinnati." Steven was incredibly talented, brilliant, a true music expert and fan...and he was rebellious enough to drive the most patient souls to the edge of their sanity.

Considering the nation's new President, Steven held a joint firmly in my face and said, "See this? This is OVER!"
By the time of Reagan's second term, most radio station managers had a "Just Say No" policy for disc jockeys expressing free thoughts on mic, or taking free reign over any music playlist.

A small number of former radio station program directors shaved their beards, cut their hair, bought expensive suits, and armed themselves with halliburton briefcases filled with blow and bullshit designed to convince every fearful radio exec that they had the only secrets to ratings success, fortune and fame.

Conformity soon became the norm. Tighter playlists made stations sound the same from city-to-city. The job of disc jockey was transforming free thinkers into people paid to read positioning slogans, timechecks and weather forecasts.

In the midst of all this unholy homogenization, Howard Stern began to build a radio show free from the constraints put on most of his competitors. His talent grew on the radio and expanded with every carefully planned new project he launched.

Superfans know that Howard pays homage to legends who came before him like Lenny Bruce and George Carlin. I can't think of another entertainer who has more succesfully won battles with corporate brass than Howard. One of the many surprises about the real man to outsiders is how he maintains his position with grace and wisdom.

No one knows what the next chapter will be for the Stern show in 2011. Assume Howard can see the possible moves on the chess board more clearly than most. As a fan, I'll be following as I have since the beginning. As a business owner, My Damn Channel stands ready to serve The King anytime he calls. 

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INTERN OF THE DECADE

Starting Monday, we wake from vaca, check our inbox, and see if you want to be INTERN OF THE DECADE.
 
Wanna be David Wain's wingman on a date?
Wanna help constantly uncurl and re-curl Grace's hair?
Wanna review hundreds of mildly amusing pitches for the next great web series?
If you live in New York and can somehow afford to be an intern, let us know. 

Here's the shazizzle: We're seeking new interns in the NY office to bathe in the warm waters of content development, site programming, marketing, promotion, social networking and operations.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

• Reviewing content submissions and pitches
• Assist with video archiving
• Assist with site programming
• Prep videos for syndication
• Assist with marketing and promotions
• Social networking outreach
• General office assistance
• Opportunities to conceive and produce short-form video and graphic content

ABOUT YOU:

• Exceptional communication skills
• Highly motivated
• Detail oriented
• Quick learner
• Ability to prioritize multiple projects and tasks
• Ability to manage deadlines in a fast-paced environment
• Sense of humor (or more than a sense)
• Social Networking Nutjob
• Entertainment Junkie
• Knowledge of Final Cut Pro, Photoshop, HTML desirable

BENEFITS

• Learn multiple disciplines inside a leading new media company
• Dramatically increase your contacts in all areas of entertainment and new media
• Possibility for future employment (no...really)

INTERESTED?

Send the world's most convincing cover letter, plus resume, and specific availability (3 days per week minimum) to: info@MyDamnChannel.com

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INTERN ! ?

My Damn Channel is looking for a few good interns and internettes.
 
Fall & Winter Enrollment is open now.

 

Wanna be David Wain's wingman on a date?
Wanna help constantly uncurl and re-curl Grace's hair?
Wanna review hundreds of mildly amusing pitches for the next great web series?

If you live in New York and can somehow afford to be an intern, let us know now.

 

If you include this coupon code in your cover letter,
we’ll know you're a suck-up:  SAVE10GYMCLUB

Here's the formal listing:

 

ABOUT US:

My Damn Channel is an entertainment studio and new media platform created to empower artists to co-produce, distribute, and monetize original, episodic video content.

Our programming is created by filmmakers, actors, comedians and musicians for the My Damn Channel site (www.MyDamnChannel.com); for syndication on the most heavily-trafficked online communities and social networks; and for all digital platforms.

DESCRIPTION:

My Damn Channel is seeking interns to work in the NY office on content development, site programming, marketing, promotion, social networking and operations.

This is an excellent opportunity to work inside one of the leading companies creating and distributing original new media entertainment.
(who wrote THAT?)

GENERAL RESPONSIBILITIES:

• Screening content submissions and pitches
• Assist with video archiving
• Assist with site programming
• Prep videos for syndication
• Assist with marketing and promotions
• Social networking outreach
• General office assistance
• Opportunities to conceive and produce short-form video and graphic content

ABOUT YOU:

• Exceptional communication skills
• Highly motivated
• Detail oriented
• Quick learner
• Ability to prioritize multiple projects and tasks
• Ability to manage deadlines in a fast-paced environment
• Sense of humor (or more than a sense)
• Social Networking Fanatic
• Entertainment Junkie
• Knowledge of Final Cut Pro, Photoshop, HTML desirable

BENEFITS

• The opportunity to learn multiple disciplines inside a leading new media company
• Dramatically increase your contacts inside all areas of entertainment and new media
• Possibility for future employment

INTERESTED?

Send the world's best cover letter stating WHY YOU & WHAT you can do,
plus your resume, and specific availability to:  Info@MyDamnChannel.com

 

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MY DAMN CHANNEL IS "TWO"

 

Two years ago, on 7/31/07, we declared independence from everything old. We launched our new show business battleship on a mission to deliver the best original video series to your fingertips n’ eyeballs. We set sail for a new world free from the ridiculous, red-tape creating ways of radio, TV, & film.

 

In two years, we’ve built a new studio to produce the entertainment – a network to showcase the goods – and a syndication business to help it all fly far and fast.

 

We knew if we avoided idiotic start-up mistakes, we’d have a shot at building a creative and financial win. The past two years have been about building our brand, signing talent, co-creating hit series, finding a mass audience, and finally making real revenues from multiple streams.

 

Our advertisers keep fueling this fun because they know that we’re one of the new companies who can deliver three essential must-haves for new media messaging to make sense for brands:

 

1)    highest-quality, star-driven entertainment

2)    customized distribution to any digital platform

3)    guaranteed traffic

 

As we start our next trip 'round the sun thanks go to our ARTISTS. The musicians, comedians, filmmakers, actors and revolutionaries who believed in us when we were schmucks with a PowerPoint now have a safe haven to produce and distribute video directly to fans. Most of our first famous friends are all still here. And thanks go to the newest members of the My Damn Channel line-up for signing on to put us to work on their behalf. We’re getting ready to announce a handful of mind-blowing deals with more stars from da movies and da teleevision.

 

Special thanks to every one of you who watch and share My Damn Channel videos. The minute we start screwing up, you stop watching, and it’s game over. Thanks for teaching us how to serve at your pleasure.

 

If you’ve worked inside our small, determined crew, please accept a personal thank you for putting in the brains, sweat and passion to prove this all works. Warren and I are forever mindful of what you’ve brought to this picnic.
 

Warren Chao is the Co-Founder & COO of My Damn Channel turning ideas into action. I’ve never seen anyone combine so many skills to make up the super-human-management sensation that Warren embodies. The man is awesomely inspiring and the essential ingredient inside this thing.

 

We share our My Damn Channel birthday with Mark Cuban, J.K. Rowling, and a visionary named Marc Averitt. Marc is our Board Director, and the Co-Founder and Managing Director of Okapi Venture Capital. We pay tribute to the man who first believed in our vision. And we mark our two-year milestone honoring every investor who helped put technology to work for our content creators, our audiences, distribution partners, and advertisers.

 

We’re about to make an announcement about new investment, new revenue deals, new series from our current stars and a few jaw-droppers if tonight’s midnight emails are to be believed.

 

Our next new pilot may be live within hours of this post…

 

Thanks for being here.

 

Rob Barnett

Rob@MyDamnChannel.com 

 

 

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SOCO MUSIC EXPERIENCE

Just back east coast & off the plane from our LA & San Diego shoots for My Damn Channel Music Nights presented by SoCo.

Yesterday was the all-day & til-Midnight SoCo Music Experience concert outdoors in San Diego.

(PHOTOS TO FOLLOW as soon as i get a lil schleepeee)

Props, respect & all terms of goodness to our sponsors, our hosts, the production team, our crew, our staff, all the musicians & the extra beautiful & fun-loving humans that made up a crowd that had to hit near 10,000 or more by the time we got to the headliners last night.

The SoCo Music Experience is touring the country with a festival that features live music outdoors, adult beverages, food, tents, games, and overall....a sexy good time.

Common headlined an impressive, eclectic line-up that went from hip hop to rock with The Black Keys, and then to uncategorizable, extremely funky, multi-flavored sets from Kinky and Saul Williams too. Slammin'.

Two stages all day - also featuring: Grand Ole Party, MC Flow, Shark Attack, The Silent Comedy, Buddy Akai, The Burning of Rome, & Lady Dottie and the Diamonds.

Grace was interviewing bands & the fans all day & all night, covering the scene.

Maria was running the My Damn Channel tent where we had way too much fun bonding with da fans - and giving away freebies including the ultra-rare YOU SUCK AT PHOTOSHOP tee-shirts, new My Damn Channel pins, and My Damn Channel TATTOOS.

We filmed all day for a new pilot series in development. The working title is: "LISTEN, KISS, MEDITATE." In a world with WAY too much noize - we're creating a new web series WITHOUT SOUND. Picture people from every walk o' life - doing three things that bring you one step further away from the madness & one step closer to SOUL. We filmed fans listening to music, kissing (passionately), and meditating. It's off the edit room to see if we're onto something great......or not.

Next SoCo Music Experience event....Madison, WI on 9/6 & we'll be at the Experience show in Albany, NY on 9/13!

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FACE

They've got a new blog app in early launch mode. "The Night Feed" is there.

We're also putting all of this week's Southern California, Southern Comfort event details there.

Flying west this week to film "My Damn Channel Music Nights" in LA on the Sunset Strip during the week & down to San Diego this Saturday for the all-day/all-night SoCo Music Experience with Common, The Black Keys & about 10 other bands - our cameras, free tattoos, tee-shirts, Grace, Maria, Paul, Robert, Victoria, our crew, our cameras & your face on new programming we're filming now.

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