Josh Gad to host SNL?

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"Touch My Junk" for Kids

In case you haven't heard, the TSA is now giving pat-downs to six-year-olds.  And while we admire the TSA's consistency, we can't help but wonder if this is one of those times when common sense could have prevailed and an exception perhaps been made.  I'm guessing the biggest threat poised by the girl in the video is the possibility of getting roped into a hyperactive, one-sided conversation about Justin Beiber.  God, kids will not SHUT UP about that guy.

Nevertheless, maybe instead of wasting their time with Journey, the kids of PS22 should brace themselves for the realities of modern air travel and instead do a cover of Harry Shearer's "Touch My Junk."  In fact, I can't think of one single reason why this might be a bad idea.  Oh wait, I just thought of about five-hundred.  Never mind.

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April Fools' Day Fools

It's April 1st today, aka April Fools' Day, aka the most frustrating day of the year.  It's the only day of the year when the average U.S. citizen gets to experience all the perks of being a paranoid schizophrenic: not trusting anyone, disbelieving your own eyes, thinking everyone is out to get you, etc.  It's a total nightmare.

But we assume that you, the loyal Night Feed reader, is, on average, WAY too smart to fall for any of that type of shenanigoats.  So instead of insulting your intelligence, we just thought we'd point you toward this great prank from our pals over at Stella, and remind you that David Wain's Wanderlust will be in theaters later this year.

And while we're at it, why not check in with the goings-on over at Back on Topps, Horrible People, and Status Kill?  Hopefully they'll make you feel a little bit better about your own foolishness.  Zots and Crambles!

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Michael Ian Black series shoot today

It's 5a in San Francisco. We've got a non-slouchy 5:30a crew call for a full day of shooting in a city we love.

Michael Ian Black is finally starring in his own My Damn Channel series. We're so happy our face muscles hurt. You'll see why when our show goes live in December.

Our producer is our mega mainman Jon Stern, who gifts you Wainy Days, Horrible People, Childrens Hospital and everything we love.

Michael Ian Black is the kind of Slash King we worship: comedian/actor/writer/director/twitter lord.

His body o' work creates a major fanbase of people we want to hang out with. Evidence includes the genius magic of The State, Stella, Michael and Michael Have Issues and more. And Michael is Chief Content Officer of a co. we're co-conspiring with now...please partake in the wonders of the 24-hour live comedy ticker, WitStream. Ta da.

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RAMP Gets An EXCLUSIVE Interview With Lee Abrams!

Meet Lee Abrams:



He was the Chief Innovation Officer at the Tribune Co. until very recently. 

There were a lot of stories going around about how his quick departure was punishment for a company-wide memo he sent containing links to some, erm, videos of questionable taste.

The good people in our RAMP (Radio and Music Pros) division thought that since linking to a video seems to have cost Abrams his job, it's only fitting that he use online video to tell his side of the story. 

Watch the entire interview now at MyDamnChannel.com/RAMP.

Here's something to whet your appetite:  Lee Abrams inspired one of those Hitler memes we were all so fond of for a while.  You know the ones:  we laughed and laughed when we watched them even though they starred HITLER.

Don't pretend like you don't know what we're talking about.

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My Damn Channel: Our 3rd Birthday

My Damn Channel is 3 years old today.

Punk was still a baby when this photo was taken. Nixon is looming in the background. He's pointing the finger!

The pic is taken during a time called "college radio" before consultants sucked freedom out of the souls of rock radio madmen and mystical women who turned us onto music completely capable of changing and defining our lives.

I first met Harry Shearer that year. I chased rock dreams through radio, television and film - and called Harry in late 2006, with the idea to start a then-unnamed business which became My Damn Channel. I called Don Was. I called David Wain.

We launched My Damn Channel exactly 3 years ago, on July 31, 2007.



We give artists we love, trust and respect all the tools they need to skip over stone walls of multi-national media empires and create video delivered directly to you.

We've never been stupid enough to think www.MyDamnChannel.com would be the most visited online destination in the world. But we built a home base big and bad enough for every creator to have their own channel and we built a massive distribution network to move video onto every digital platform where we can make a solid business deal to support the work. The good shit ain't free.

We built a business driven by advertising, licensing and the certainty that we can bring you talent and content in special events later this year - worthy of a buck or two from you to support the art. Crazy, right?

Artists like Illeana Douglas prove that companies like IKEA can connect in a whole new way with millions of people watching millions of videos every hour. Illeana birthed a baby called "Easy to Assemble," which Ad Age dubbed "the most-watched sponsored web show."



We survived the world's worst economy and found our way to success because YOU watch and share our videos. THANK YOU.

We have artists that trust us to respect their art. THANK YOU.

We have sponsors and business partners who believe that we can deliver the good shit and guarantee millions of eyes on it all. THANK YOU.

We have backers who put their faith and coin into a vision for a new show business as powerful today as television was in the 50's. YOU GET IT! THANK YOU!

We have a man named Warren Chao, our Co-Founder and Chief Operating Officer, who knew how to stop us from avoiding most of the mistakes baby companies make to screw it all up. Warren: I've never known a single human being as smart, dedicated and effective inside a company as you. THANK YOU.

Biggest thanks to our families for not killing us when the hill seemed to high to climb! 

RESPECT and THANKS to every one of you who have spent a day inside our small, evolving staff of rebels and business partners.
(Keep an eye out for your party invite!)



We start year four today. Documented in "the world's longest press release" here - with all our new channels for your immediate inspection.

One more major announcement is coming out in days to prove that you'll still have My Damn Channel to kick around for years to come. 
F Nixon.

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Announcing the My Damn Channel Third Birthday 3Some Video Challenge

3Some: Presenting the My Damn Channel 3rd Birthday Video Challenge

What are the rules?

• Email info at MyDamnChannel dot com with the subject heading "3Some" for rules, regulations, video specs and instructions for getting your video to us.
• Find some creative way to connect it to the 3Some theme.
• Keep it under 3 minutes.  We love you, but we have trains to catch at 5:42pm to get to our Mom's place by dinner.
• Don't plug My Damn Channel shamelessly.  That's what I'm for, not you.
• We are judging overall quality, talent, originality, performance and intelligence.  So don't just shoot something and say "Whatevs, this will do."  Because it won't.  Give us your best. 

Timeline

• Get it to us by Friday, August 13th.  You should probably have your first draft done by the time you finish reading this post.
• Winners will be announced Wednesday, August 18th, which will be SOMEONE'S LUCKY DAY.

Why should you do this?

• You are creative and witty and wise and you realize that withholding your gifts from the online video world is a crime against humanity.  This goes for all of you.  Or maybe you're just bored. 
• All winners will be featured heavily on My Damn Channel.
• 3rd Prize: You will be featured for 3 Days on the My Damn Channel homepage.  Go there now.  Tell me who you see.  Imagine your mug featured next to those guys.  Sweet, right?  How awesome is the Facebook photo album you create from those screencaps gonna be?
• 2nd Prize: 8GB iPod touch.  For realz, yo.  Have you been walking around wishing you could experience the joy of touchscreen technology and the millions of apps in that damn app store?  This is for you.
• 1st Prize: 16GB iPad 3G.  For realz, also. Touchscreen technology, the app store apps, plus books and Flipboard and the cure for cancer.  What?  Oh.  Scratch that last thing.  But AN IPAD.  For you. 

We want our birthday to be a good one, so we need as many people as possible to give us presents.  Thank you, and good luck!

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MY DAMN CHANNEL DOES CES

We're on the scene in Vegas. My Damn Channel Founder/CEO, Rob Barnett, was selected as one of the "25 Executives to Watch in Digital Entertainment" by Digital Media Wire.
 
Digital Media Wire is a full scale media company that owns and produces 8 major conferences, publishes daily newsletters and directories, and operates the popular www.dmwmedia.com news and community portal.

Rob and his fellow honorees dissected all things digital at today's all-afternoon conference in the city of sin.

Rob was also a guest speaker on a Kodak panel at CES moderated by Kodak Chief Marketing Officer, Jeff Hayzlett. You can find the 20-minute video called "I Want My Web TV" (part 1) from 1p today here.

Part 2 features our wonderful wizard, star and guiding light from "Easy to Assemble," Illeana Douglas.  You can also catch her TubeFilter interview from CES here.

As soon as all the advils and bloody marys take effect, we're getting ready to launch all new episodes of EASY TO ASSEMBLE on Wednesday, January 20 on My Damn Channel. And what about SPARHUSEN??? More shall be revealed 1.20.10.

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HOW DOES IT FEEL?

I'm watching a rebroadcast of the original Woodstock movie on the 40th anniversary and reading the news that broke a few days ago about Bob Dylan.

Dylan didn't play the Woodstock festival, but his unique magic has some roots in the earth and mud  surrounding this holy ground 90 miles northwest of New York City.

Long Branch, N.J. is about 150 miles south of the spot where a 3-day festival in 1969 became an external example of rock's power to create community.

Bob Dylan was walking through this oceanfront community last month - taking a break during his never-ending tour. Dylan was reportedly on a stroll looking at houses when he was detained by two officer in their 20's suspecting him of suspicious behavoir.

The reason the story captured the world's attention is that neither of the officers had any idea of who Bob Dylan was. The incident was resolved peacefully and the best part of the news mentions how cool Dylan was about the whole thing.

Here's hoping the officers are online now - buying some of his music.

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FAREWELL TO DANNY

This eulogy was delivered by Bruce Springsteen at Danny's funeral on April 21 in Red Bank, New Jersey:

FAREWELL TO DANNY



Let me start with the stories.

Back in the days of miracles, the frontier days when "Mad Dog" Lopez and his temper struck fear into the band, small club owners, innocent civilians and all women, children and small animals.

Back in the days when you could still sign your life away on the hood of a parked car in New York City.

Back shortly after a young red-headed accordionist struck gold on the Ted Mack Amateur Hour and he and his mama were sent to Switzerland to show them how it's really done.

Back before beach bums were featured on the cover of Time magazine.

I'm talking about back when the E Street Band was a communist organization! My pal, quiet, shy Dan Federici, was a one-man creator of some of the hairiest circumstances of our 40 year career... And that wasn't easy to do. He had "Mad Dog" Lopez to compete with.... Danny just outlasted him.

Maybe it was the "police riot" in Middletown, New Jersey. A show we were doing to raise bail money for "Mad Log" Lopez who was in jail in Richmond, Virginia, for having an altercation with police officers who we'd aggravated by playing too long. Danny allegedly knocked over our huge Marshall stacks on some of Middletown's finest who had rushed the stage because we broke the law by...playing too long.

As I stood there watching, several police oficers crawled out from underneath the speaker cabinets and rushed away to seek medical attention. Another nice young officer stood in front of me onstage waving his nightstick, poking and calling me nasty names. I looked over to see Danny with a beefy police officer pulling on one arm while Flo Federici, his first wife, pulled on the other, assisting her man in resisting arrest.

A kid leapt from the audience onto the stage, momentarily distracting the beefy officer with the insults of the day. Forever thereafter, "Phantom" Dan Federici slipped into the crowd and disappeared.

A warrant out for his arrest and one month on the lam later, he still hadn't been brought to justice. We hid him in various places but now we had a problem. We had a show coming at Monmouth College. We needed the money and we had to do the gig. We tried a replacement but it didn't work out. So Danny, to all of our admiration, stepped up and said he'd risk his freedom, take the chance and play.

Show night. 2,000 screaming fans in the Monmouth College gym. We had it worked out so Danny would not appear onstage until the moment we started playing. We figured the police who were there to arrest him wouldn't do so onstage during the show and risk starting another riot.

Let me set the scene for you. Danny is hiding, hunkered down in the backseat of a car in the parking lot. At five minutes to eight, our scheduled start time, I go out to whisk him in. I tap on the window.

"Danny, come on, it's time."

I hear back, "I'm not going."

Me: "What do you mean you're not going?"

Danny: "The cops are on the roof of the gym. I've seen them and they're going to nail me the minute I step out of this car."

As I open the door, I realize that Danny has been smoking a little something and had grown rather paranoid. I said, "Dan, there are no cops on the roof."

He says, "Yes, I saw them, I tell you. I'm not coming in."

So I used a procedure I'd call on often over the next forty years in dealing with my old pal's concerns. I threatened him...and cajoled. Finally, out he came. Across the parking lot and into the gym we swept for a rapturous concert during which we laughted like thieves at our excellent dodge of the local cops.

At the end of the evening, during the last song, I pulled the entire crowd up onto the stage and Danny slipped into the audience and out the front door. Once again, "Phantom" Dan had made his exit. (I still get the occasional card from the old Chief of Police of Middletown wishing us well. Our histories are forever intertwined.) And that, my friends, was only the beginning.

There was the time Danny quit the band during a rough period at Max's Kansas City, explaining to me that he was leaving to fix televisions. I asked him to think about that and come back later.

Or Danny, in the band rental car, bouncing off several parked cars after a night of entertainment, smashing out the windshield with his head but saved from severe injury by the huge hard cowboy hat he bought in Texas on our last Western swing.

Or Danny, leaving a large marijuana plant on the front seat of his car in a tow away zone. The car was promptly towed. He said, "Bruce, I'm going to go down and report that it was stolen." I said, "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

Down he went and straight into the slammer without passing go.

Or Danny, the only member of the E Street Band to be physically thrown out of the Stone Pony. Considering all the money we made them, that wasn't easy to do.

Or Danny receiving and surviving a "cautionary assault" from an enraged but restrained "Big Man" Clarence Clemons while they were living together and Danny finally drove the "Big Man" over the big top.

Or Danny assisting me in removing my foot from his stereo speaker after being the only band member ever to drive me into a violent rage.

And through it all, Danny played his beautiful, soulful B3 organ for me and our love grew. And continued to grow. Life is funny like that. He was my homeboy, and great, and for that you make considerations... And he was much more tolerant of my failures than I was of his.

When Danny wasn't causing chaos, he was a sweet, talented, unassuming, unpretentious good-hearted guy who simply had an unchecked ability to make good fortune and things in general go fabulously wrong.

But beyond all of that, he also had a mountain of the right stuff. He had the heart and soul of an engineer. He learned to fly. He was always up on the latest technology and would explain it to you patiently and in enormous detail. He was always "souping" something up, his car, his stereo, his B3. When Patti joined the band, he was the most welcoming, thoughtful, kindest friend to the first woman entering our "boys club."

He loved his kids, always bragging about Jason, Harley, and Madison, and he loved his wife Maya for the new things she brought into his life.

And then there was his artistry. He was the most intuitive player I've ever seen. His style was slippery and fluid, drawn to the spaces the other musicians in the E Street Band left. He wasn't an assertive player, he was a complementary player. A true accompanist. He naturally supplied the glue that bound the band's sound together. In doing so, he created for himself a very specific style. When you hear Dan Federici, you don't hear a blanket of sound, you hear a riff, packed with energy, flying above everything else for a few moments and then gone back in the track. "Phantom" Dan Federici. Now you hear him, now you don't.

Offstage, Danny couldn't recite a lyric or a chord progression for one of my songs. Onstage, his ears opened up. He listened, he felt, he played, finding the perfect hole and placement for a chord or a flurry of notes. This style created a tremendous feeling of spontaneity in our ensemble playing.

In the studio, if I wanted to loosen up the track we were recording, I'd put Danny on it and not tell him what to play. I'd just set him loose. He brought with him the sound of the carnival, the amusements, the boardwalk, the beach, the geography of our youth and the heart and soul of the birthplace of the E Street Band.

Then we grew up. Very slowly. We stood together through a lot of trials and tribulations. Danny's response to a mistake onstage, hard times, catastrophic events was usually a shrug and a smile. Sort of an "I am but one man in a raging sea, but I'm still afloat. And we're all still here."

I watched Danny fight and conquer some tough addictions. I watched him struggle to put his life together and in the last decade when the band reunited, thrive on sitting in his seat behind that big B3, filled with life and, yes, a new maturity, passion for his job, his family and his home in the brother and sisterhood of our band.

Finally, I watched him fight his cancer without complaint and with great courage and spirit. When I asked him how things looked, he just said, "what are you going to do? I'm looking forward to tomorrow." Danny, the sunny side up fatalist. He never gave up right to the end.

A few weeks back we ended up onstage in Indianapolis for what would be the last time. Before we went on I asked him what he wanted to play and he said, "Sandy." He wanted to strap on the accordion and revisit the boardwalk of our youth during the summer nights when we'd walk along the boards with all the time in the world.

So what if we just smashed into three parked cars, it's a beautiful night! So what if we're on the lam from the entire Middletown police department, let's go take a swim! He wanted to play once more the song that is of course about the end of something wonderful and the beginning of something unknown and new.

Let's go back to the days of miracles. Pete Townshend said, "a rock and roll band is a crazy thing. You meet some people when you're a kid and unlike any other occupation in the whole world, you're stuck with them your whole life no matter who they are or what crazy things they do."

If we didn't play together, the E Street Band at this point would probably not know one another. We wouldn't be in this room together. But we do... We do play together. And every night at 8 p.m., we walk out on stage together and that, my friends, is a place where miracles occur...old and new miracles. And those you are with, in the presence of miracles, you never forget. Life does not separate you. Death does not separate you. Those you are with who create miracles for you, like Danny did for me every night, you are honored to be amongst.

Of course we all grow up and we know "it's only rock and roll"...but it's not. After a lifetime of watching a man perform his miracle for you, night after night, it feels an awful lot like love.

So today, making another one of his mysterious exits, we say farewell to Danny, "Phantom" Dan, Federici. Father, husband, my brother, my friend, my mystery, my thorn, my rose, my keyboard player, my miracle man and lifelong member in good standing of the house rockin', pants droppin', earth shockin', hard rockin', booty shakin', love makin', heart breakin', soul cryin'... and, yes, death defyin' legendary E Street Band.

(video tribute to Danny at www.BruceSpringsteen.net)

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