Be our social media intern.

This is his "excited" face.

Meet Matt The Intern.

Look at how excited Matt The Intern is to be one of the very first people holding the brand-new Wainy Days DVD.

If you were our intern you would be as lucky as he is, too. In FACT, today IS your lucky day because we need social media and graphics interns.

Here's the deal:

• *We are located in New York City, so you must be, too. Or you must be willing at least to commute into New York City on a regular basis.
• *You can receive college credit! If this is of interest to you we can do this... however...
• *Being a student is not a prerequisite. Just know that.

Here are the skills we're looking for:

• *You should be familiar with our content. Some of it. All of it. Take your pick. But you should know something about us.
• *You should have strong writing skills. Please send us links to your Twitter and Tumblr and blog. But not your Pinterest. We don't care about that...YET.
• *You should have basic Photoshop and HTML skills. Have you ever created an image for a meme? Have you posted said image to your blog without the benefit of a blog editor? Do you sometimes wish you could just hold up an animated gif in real-life situations? Fantastic. You're who we want.
• *Basic Final Cut Pro or other video editing skills are wonderful and we could definitely figure out how to use your skills effectively and creatively, but they are not necessary.

Here's what you'd be doing:

• *Hanging out on Tumblr all day.
• *Creating gifs of our content.
• *Helping us think of hashtags.
• *Photoshopping Mary Lynn Rajskub's head onto Jeremy Lin's body just because we think saying "Mary Lynn-sanity" is funny.
• *Helping to optimize all of our social media outlets aesthetically and strategically.
• *Not all of it is fun. Sometimes there is data entry. Sometimes there is heavy lifting. Sometimes there is a coffee run that needs running.

BUT you would definitely get a Wainy Days DVD. Well, probably.

Please send all inquiries to Maria [at] MyDamnChannel [dot] com.

Thanks! And may the odds be ever in your favor! (But not in a BAD Hunger Games sort of way!)

(PS: We have several videos starring Elizabeth Banks!)

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Mary Lynn Rajskub has some advice for Lindsay Lohan.

Wow. What do you think the Dicki star would say to "Dicki"?

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Put A Tony Danza On It

After watching Mark Malkoff's "Free Cab Rides" video, we were particularly struck by the part where Mark and his driver Sean decide to "Tony Danza" the cab.

Brilliant.

An ode to Tony Danza's turn in TAXI, sure, but why not an ode to Tony Danza in general? We're ashamed to admit that we think about Who's The Boss? on almost a daily basis. Like, who WAS the boss? That question has boggled us since we were seven. So, we thought, let's Tony Danza some sh*t.

(Jeff Bezos "Put A Tony Danza" on the Kindle Fire!)


(Wanna make How To Make It In America a better show?
"Put A Tony Danza On It!")

Here, maybe you wanna "Put A Tony Danza On It" yourself?

Go for it! You know how on Portlandia they "Put A Bird On It?" Well, maybe the rest of us should "Put A Tony Danza On It." Maybe you want to help a new generation embrace a beloved 80's sitcom star due to an obscure but indefatigable movement to put his likeness in unexpected places!

Or, you know, maybe you're just bored and you don't suck at Photoshop. Either of those reasons could lead to a perfectly acceptable decision to "Put A Tony Danza On It." Just be sure to let us know if you do.

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Meet The Worst Generation

Editor's Note: Today we have guest bloggers! The Worst Generation is our newest series and we thought it might be nice for you to get to know its stars a little more intimately, so here they are:

So, My Damn Channel wants us to do some type of blog thingy to kinda introduce ourselves to the people of the internet. Since we don't have any actual "fan mail" (or even "fans" for that matter), I've ripped off a few questions from a Justin Bieber fan site for us to answer. Answer these bad boys and any other questions you can think of to get this bad boy rollin'.

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If your house was on fire and you could only take one thing with you what would it be?
- Roxy, 13, Detroit

JIM: Hi Roxy. Thanks for watching. I'd probably have to grab my amazing-incredible-pornography box, a.k.a. my computer. Either that or my collection of Simpsons action figures.

THOMAS: Bauer, he's the only hope any of us have for success. And you're an idiot Jim the question clearly stated one thing that you would take and you clearly listed two.

JIM: I get nervous talking to people from Detroit. She probably just wants to steal our stuff.

MITCH: My depression pills.



Where do you get your best love advice?
- Lonely in Little Rock

MITCH: My dad once told me. "never take home the three legged dog from the pound just because you feel sorry for it." That made since when I was 9 and it still does to this day.

JIM: I've tried it all; tarot cards, gypsy palm readings, fortune cookies, magic 8 balls... and I found the best place for you to get your love advise... is from inside your heart :)

THOMAS: I just watch what Mitch does, and it teaches me exactly what NOT to do as far as love is concerned.



If you could  have dinner with 3 people, dead or alive, who would it be?

THOMAS: I don't really care as long as those three people are buying. And it better be some gourmet shit, if I have to go listen to three other people bore me to death I don't want to do it over a Big Mac and fries.

MITCH: Bo Jackson, The Pope, and Dennis Rodman

JIM: Wow Mitch, what are the odds of the Pope even responding to that evite?  I'm going with Jenna Jameson, Pamela Anderson and Angelina Jolie. In their primes. Next question.


How does it feel to be mobbed by screaming girls?

JIM: You get used to it.

THOMAS: Feels normal, they've been doing it my whole life.

MITCH: Sometimes, I don't feel worthy of it all. Other times, it gets annoying having to hear all the jibber-jabber that comes along with it.


Describe your dream girl.

MITCH: I hear your dream girl is actually a version of your mother. So probably an annoying old bitch.

JIM: My dream girl is funny, smart, nice smile, pretty eyes, caring of others, and got an ass so big you can see it from the front.

THOMAS: Depends on my mood. And the season.


What would a fan have to do to date you?

THOMAS: Tell me their daddy was Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, Jerry Bruckheimer or any such type of person, so that I can leave these clowns of TWG behind and get started on my life doing something that is actually worth a shit.

JIM: Be 18 years old and have a vagina. A trust fund wouldn't hurt either.

MITCH: Have you ever heard of a ballcuzzi?


Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

JIM: Hopefully off of unemployment and out of my parents' basement.

MITCH: Cute cottage near the sea with roommates that make me breakfast and flush the toilet once in a while... or unemployed in my parents basement.

THOMAS: Dating Spielberg's daughter.


How do you deal with all the haters out there?

MITCH: I always carry a butterfly knife I got in Baja. Can't hate when you're getting stabbed.

THOMAS: In the words of Tupac: " Fuck it. I feel like I shine. And I don't give a fuck how many white people, the Media, black people, playa haters, police, whoever, try to darken my shine, Im'a always shine through. "

JIM: Uhhhhh wait what? 


What would you do if all the fame went away tomorrow?

JIM: If all of this fame was suddenly taken away from me, I'd probably blow my head off.

MITCH: It would be a long way to fall, but I'm sure I could still pull ass so who cares.

THOMAS: Be excited that I'd never have to answer stupid questions like these again. Is this really what you want us to do Jimmy? Whataya' stupid or something?


How would you describe your style?

THOMAS: Lazy

JIM:  Oh I dunno, maybe rural-chic with an urban twist.

MITCH: Commando, Ballistic, and Fresh.


How do you maintain such a hot body?

THOMAS: Layers and no AC.

MITCH: Commitment to Excellence.

JIM: More like commitment to purging after every meal. I usually lift like 8 hours a day, 6 days a week.

Editor: Uh, thanks, guys! We'll all be watching you and Bauer every Tuesday at www.MyDamnChannel.com/TheWorstGeneration! And following you on Twitter at @TheWorstGen!  And on Facebook at Facebook.com/TheWorstGeneration!

Otherwise we'll be avoiding Mitch and his butterfly knife.

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Come At Me, Bro Speak!

Your new favorite blog, Slacktory, did you the generous favor of translating Facebook's confusing and cumbersome Terms of Service into "Bro Speak" so that everyone can understand the rules, even if one happens to be wearing a baseball cap askew on one's head.

Here's an excerpt on Privacy, a subject that seems to get many Facebook users up in arms:

We give lots of fucks about your privacy, so we wrote this. Read it, so you know what the fuck we’re going to do with the shit you post, so you’re not all “Facebook, I had no idea!” when your shit is in our press releases. That way you know the deal when you’re deciding what to post.

Nice work, bro. Now that we're finally able to understand Facebook's Terms of Service, there will be NO CHANCE that we'll ever be upset with them for using in some public and vaguely nefarious manner any of the information or data that we've given them voluntarily! Hooray!

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Feels Old Man

Oh, Slacktory.  How did you know that we all feel like cranky old men all the time?  Your new meme, "Feels Old Man: The Advice Meme for Young Old People" is the best repurposing of a Clint Eastwood image since this guy's chest tattoo:


(Image via TONY)

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Go Sukashi! Does It Again!

Remember when I said that Go Sukashi! was crazy awesome?  Well guess what?  They just got more awesome.  This week's episode of Sukashi just really blew my mind.  I don't have words really, just exclamations of mirth and...ecstasy.  Pure ecstasy.

I don't wanna spoil the magic, so I suggest you go and watch the new episode right now.  Parks are blown up and there's singing and dancing.  Perfect combination.  Enjoy!

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RAMP Gets An EXCLUSIVE Interview With Lee Abrams!

Meet Lee Abrams:



He was the Chief Innovation Officer at the Tribune Co. until very recently. 

There were a lot of stories going around about how his quick departure was punishment for a company-wide memo he sent containing links to some, erm, videos of questionable taste.

The good people in our RAMP (Radio and Music Pros) division thought that since linking to a video seems to have cost Abrams his job, it's only fitting that he use online video to tell his side of the story. 

Watch the entire interview now at MyDamnChannel.com/RAMP.

Here's something to whet your appetite:  Lee Abrams inspired one of those Hitler memes we were all so fond of for a while.  You know the ones:  we laughed and laughed when we watched them even though they starred HITLER.

Don't pretend like you don't know what we're talking about.

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Howard Stern Interviews My Damn Channel's Rob Barnett - 420

I just left Howard Stern's studio after an hour-long, on-air interview with the King.

About 2 weeks ago, Collette McLafferty set up an interview on Dr. Blogstein's Radio Happy Hour on Blog Talk Radio. Their interview was supposed to be about My Damn Channel, but they opened with a question about my old life in a thankless job at CBS Radio working to try to figure out how to replace the irreplaceable Howard Stern.

Howard 100 News ran with the story on Sirius on April Fool's Day. Gary Dell'Abate connected to invite me to come in to meet Howard this morning, 420, to tell the untold, true story.

I'd gotten advice from some of my best friends - and from some of Howard's friends about how to handle the situation. Much of it obvious. Tell the truth. Don't weasal. And the hardest advice - don't be long-winded.

Somehow, the minute I walked in LIVE - the mass nerves disappeared and Howard was totally amazing for over an hour.

We talked about the impossible situation he created by quitting radio in 2004 for satellite. I told him that the only person that came out perfectly smelling like a rose...was Howard.

We talked about Jon Stewart, Matt & Trey from South Park, Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David, Chris Rock, David Lee Roth, Adam Carolla, Jimmy Kimmel, Free FM, Harry Shearer, You Suck at Photoshop, and My Damn Channel. He couldn't have been cooler.

Today's show will loop all day on Sirius.

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SATAN CLAUS IS COMING TO MY DAMN CHANNEL!

Inbox Violation #32 Monday, December 21, 2009 SATAN CLAUS IS COMING TO MY DAMN CHANNEL MERRY GRACEMAS, Y'ALL!  Whaaat??  You thought we weren't going to get you anything?!   Get ready for a Loving & Emotional HOLIDAY MESSAGE to YOU from the host of My Damn Channel herself!  HELL'S HOLIDAY JAZZ LOUNGE  Spinal Tap's famous holiday song, CHRISTMAS WITH THE DEVIL, is re-lived by JUDITH OWEN & HARRY SHEARER, in a smooth, jazzy video performance that will HEAT UP your Holiday Spirit! Also available for purchase on Judith's CHRISTMAS IN JULY album. What a neat gift idea! WHAT MAKES A HAPPY CO-WORKER? ATTENTION ALL EMPLOYEES: "Manager Erik" stops by My Damn Channel to give his priceless words of advice on what it takes to be a HAPPY CO-WORKER. Please forward to all co-workers, there will be a test! Please forward to all co-workers All new episodes of EASY TO ASSEMBLE from Illeana Douglas & IKEA premiere JAN 20!   IN CASE YOU MISSED IT... Dane.. I mean.. Donnie takes us on a journey through PHOTOSHOP LESSONS of the past & present... Send in your works of art & love to: info@mydamnchannel.com   Thanks for every second of watching, commenting, n’ sharing in ’09. We promise to suck even less in ’10.   See ya next year! My Damn Channel - PHONE: 866.424.8864 - EMAIL: info@MyDamnChannel.com   This email was sent to fishstandsup@gmail.com. To ensure that you continue receiving our emails, please add us to your address book or safe list. manage your preferences | opt out using TrueRemove® Got this as a forward? Sign up to receive our future emails. 202 W. 40th St. 16th floor | New York, NY 10018

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